A 2012 Retrospective

I took a break from blogging due to the holiday sales season.  It's amazing how draining it can be even when one knows what's coming.  Then again, Christmas isn't quite the same for me at 29 as it was in years prior.

As a child on December 25th, I would be excited about the gifts that I would possibly be receiving as well as giving gifts to others.  Even when I was sick, I saw to it that I didn't miss that day.  That was years ago.  This year, I'm staying in.

Retail tends to do that to some such as myself.  After tending to the needs and desires of other people for the past several days, I decided to spend the day decompressing.  Part of it shall involve some self reflection.

To say that 2012 was an interesting year would be an understatement.

The Beginning

 It was one of those things that I did not expect.  First I meet a friend's wonderful sister for lunch at King Chef Buffet in Warrensburg.  Her name was Emily.  We have a nice conversation, and then hang out with my friend for a while before I have to take a nap.  It was unfortunate that it wasn't on my day off, so I had to go back and get some sleep before work.

Then something else happened.

I had also been introduced to somebody else online by an acquaintance.  Soon after, I began to text this person (after her friend insisted that they ask me to do so).  I made a reference to Austin Powers and that amused her.

Her name was Heather, and after hanging out a couple of weeks in a row, we began our romantic relationship.  It wound up lasting for four months.  Unless she was watching her niece, Tuesdays would be our day.  I met her family, and she eventually met my mom.

The relationship lasts four months.  At the beginning of June, I go to my high school reunion.  I took her with me and we had a great time.  The moment that caused me to realize that I wasn't the right person for her was when one of my fellow graduates offspring starts crying.

As I'm describing how in another situation, I could simply drown it out with headphones, they interject that I better get used to it.  The declaration was made that if we were together long enough and we got married, we would be having children.

It was at that moment that I began to shut down on the inside.  It was not a good feeling.  I did not communicate with her at all during my lunch hour that night at work.  What else could I do?  I had no idea what to say after all of that.

So I did some research online.  There were varying answers, but one in particular appeared over and over again.  When it comes to children, it's important to be up front and honest.  It should not be something to be compromised on.

That was exactly how I felt.  As unpleasant as it was, I realized I could not deny somebody of a dream they had since they were a small child, especially if it turns out that I'm sterile.  One of these days, I'll be tested to make sure.  Suffice it to say, because of the amount of steroids put into my system at the age of six due to surgery that I had, it's a possibility.

I explained to her in person that the relationship was not meant to be due to the fact that her choice in life and mine were not intertwined.  Who am I to deny somebody else their dream?  Fortunately, she is now with the right person.

I soon did something that in retrospect, I shouldn't have done.  I went back to the dating sites and looked for the right person.  The problem is that I am not good at looking for somebody significant in my life, and I never will be.  I also should have clarified that I don't hate children.  I simply don't want to bring any into this world, a point I will expand on soon enough.

Political Aspirations

For the second time around, I ran for Congress.  As in U.S. Congress.  I ran in Missouri's Fourth District, because that's where I live.  For those who haven't figured it out by now, I am a Libertarian.

For those wanting to know where they actually stand on the political map, this quiz can be very helpful.

Since there was another person running for the same position under the same party, a primary was required to determine who would be on November's ballot.  I won the primary, and my opponent messaged my fan page and typed in all caps.

Election years, especially major ones, brings out all sorts of interesting people.

I managed to get over 10,000 votes in November, which was more than the previous candidate in 2010.  Libertarianism is on an upward trend.  I'm beginning to see more and more people getting tired of the status quo.

I'm also learning that I have more influence than I initially realized.

End of the Year Drama

The good news: I was able to get myself a Samsung Galaxy S2.  It has a better camera on it for pictures as well as faster hardware.  I had to sell a computer in order to buy it, but it was a machine that I no longer wanted to use.

Ubuntu 12.04 and hybrid graphics aren't exactly like peanut butter and jelly.

There was some minor drama in the geek circle.  Tony Harris created quite a bit of a stir by posting a private Facebook status update decrying the issue of "fake geek girls."  What followed was mindless group think.

Because of what he posted, people thought that he hated women and objectified them via comic book art.  No research was done into the work he has done.  If anyone had, they would have discovered that he doesn't objectify women in his work or exaggerate their proportions (and that he outright refuses to do so).

More importantly, Harris wasn't the first one to come up with such a rant regarding "fake geeks" in the first place.  Before Tony Harris, there was Maddox.  Granted, his whole purpose is stir people up, but still... where were all the so called "feminists" when he declared that being a geek or nerd wasn't sexy?

For those who wonder if posers do exist in the geek/nerd realm, look no further than Mike Ramirez.  As a columnist for Expert Comics, he has personally witnessed poserism at its finest.

What have they referred to con goers as?

• “all ugly guys with no lives”
• “weirdo nerds”
• “unbathed geeks”
• “creepy guys who smell bad but maybe I can get a modeling gig”
•  “gross little cretins but maybe they won’t ALL be nerds”

 Now granted, at some conventions there have been issues where people are so engaged in things that they forget to shower and sleep every once and a while.  At A-Kon for example, they often encourage people to get enough rest and to actually bathe to avoid "con-funk."

What Ramirez points out is that there are those who are willing to step on others in order to get further in life, even if only for a brief moment.  He also points out that there is a deeper issue; the corporatization of comic books in general.

Think about it for one moment.  Disney now owns Marvel and Time Warner owns D.C.  When was the last time you heard of an independent title taking the world by storm?  The closest thing I can think of is CrossGen Comics, and they went out of business due to financial issues.

...and now Disney owns their assets.

I'm quite thankful that Ramirez was able to fairly look at the situation and realize a deeper issue instead of going along the lines of mindless group think.  The only reason I defended Harris on my blog was because of the disproportionate amount of people who echoed the sentiment of him being a woman hater.

Even more mindless group think came as a result of the recent shootings in Connecticut.  I took my time commenting directly on the event.  Instead, I shared certain images on Facebook hoping that others would get what I was trying to do.

I was trying to get people to think outside the box instead of being dominated by their emotions and corporate controlled media.  One of the images showed the Connecticut and Colorado shooter side by side.  One of the arguments made was that both their fathers were witnesses in a scandal.

Whether true or not, the point was that corporate controlled media was all too willing to talk about the lost lives, the grieving family members, and oh yes... gun control.... When it came to other things just as newsworthy, it was swept under the rug and practically ignored.

I personally choose not to own firearms, but that was my choice.  Everybody in my view should have the choice on whether or not they should own firearms or any weapons for that matter.  Banning a certain type of weapon will only cause the creation of more weapons.

We don't have a weapons problem.  We have a people problem.

The two examples of mindless group think is what has solidified my position on not having any children of my own.  For starters, I don't have the patience for screaming crying babies and toddlers.  It's like nails on a chalk board to me.

Furthermore, I am noticing more and more people wanting to go along with the crowd instead of choosing their own path.  Societal pressure tends to do that.  That's also why I'm no longer on dating sites.  I realized that I was caving into that same pressure.

In a society where loss of virginity is mentioned on a regular basis, I can still say that I am a virgin at 29 years of age.  The probability of me still being one when I turn 30 is very high.  When it comes to a "soul mate," I am no longer in any hurry.

After all, I want to spend time being myself and enjoying what I have in life.

Conclusion and Upcoming Projects

 I've changed this year.  At the beginning of 2012, I argued that it was the end, but the beginning of something new.  I've been at the same company for six years and will probably make the seven year mark barring extreme circumstances (good or bad).

I'm applying a go with the flow type of attitude to my life and so far it seems to be working.  I've also listened to my body a bit more than I have been in the past.  I finally bought some new shoes, and in 2013 I may invest in a couple of more so I can rotate them in the hopes that they will all last longer.

I'm also assisting an independent film maker with a website.  Their film is complete.  They just need a web presence.  I also want to work on my website some more.  If I can learn Drupal, I can become more versatile.

I also wish to be more successful in what I do in life.  That will mean more discipline and hard (and smart) work.  For now though, I am grateful for all the things I have in life at the moment.  There is no telling what tomorrow or the new year will bring.

The one thing that is for certain is that it won't be boring.  ;)

Disagreements and Fairness

I'm awake, and still aware of my surroundings.  At the moment, I'm truly excited.  As you can read from the post on my website, I finally decided that enough was enough.  I realized that I wanted a place that I could call home. Where I'm at currently... I call temporary.  The building's old, falling apart, and being invaded by mold and other villains of good health and sanity.  The good news is that I'm going to be moving to my new place on September 1st.

In other words, I got the first apartment on the first try.  When I was given a brief tour, I was excited.  I loved what I saw.  The living room had a decent amount of space, the kitchen was a separate room entirely, and the two bedrooms had a size that was about equal to the one I will no longer sleep in due to mold growing on the wall.  Guess the paint that was covering it up is no longer as effective as it used to be.

I did the turnoff and transfer requests for the various utility companies while doing laundry today.  I have just a few weeks before getting moved, and I'm excited.  I have plenty of packing to do, and I intend to get some of it done before I go to sleep.  If I get it done ahead of time, I'll have less hassle on moving day.  At least I'll be able to pay my rent in town instead of mailing it.  That's the one thing I disagreed with the most about my current place.

Speaking of which...  I've begun to notice that when disagreements occur, no matter how minor or extreme, the phrase, "Get the other side of the story." follows.  It's been happening more and more.  I can understand why.  After all, people have been put away for crimes they never committed.  I just want to point out that there are also times when getting both sides of a given story isn't always useful.  Yes, responsibility should be applied to all parties whenever possible.  However, it can't always be spread evenly, depending on the actions of one, a few, or many.

Long story short... life isn't always even, balanced, and completely fair.  Legitimate gripes and concerns can easily be negated by abhorrent actions, especially when tempers are lost.  Allow me to give an example.  I follow The Saucy Skeptics, a blog written by two girls who identify themselves as Atheists.  The latest post shows support on the part of a lawsuit on the part of American Atheists regarding a piece of the World Trade Center that's shaped like a cross.

I can understand how a variety of people were lost on that fateful day in 2001.  What caught my eye was this little tidbit:

The cross has become a Christian icon. It has been blessed by so-called holy men a few times, and presented as a reminder that God, in his infinite power of goodness, who couldn’t be bothered to stop the Muslim terrorists, or stop the fire, or hold up the buildings to stop 3000 people from being crushed, cared enough to bestow upon us some rubble that resembles a cross. Ridiculous.

The reason why Jon Stewart made fun of the situation was because of the words above in bold.  Of course it was quoted differently by Fox News, which everybody should take with a grain of salt.  In the closing of the statement by American Atheists, they did call for equality and for all viewpoints to be represented.  There has been discrimination against those who are not Christian, and there most certainly has been violence against them as well.  Opening one's proverbial mouth and inserting their foot is not the best way to convey a message and will only serve to upset those who were on the fence as well as those who disagree about the whole situation.  That's the price of not thinking things through before performing an action or series of actions.

Those words, in my view at least, negated the intended message.  After all, how many Muslims would consider the so called hijackers, whether they actually were on those planes or not, true Muslims?  I'm guessing not all of them.  I'm sure plenty of Muslims would have been offended by that statement.  Personally, I believe the piece of rubble should be used an opportunity to educate about different beliefs instead of hidden away from everyone else.  All the talk about equality is damaged with careless statements like the one I quoted above, and will only serve to hinder support for Atheism to exist.

They certainly have the right sue.  They have a right for their voices to be heard, but they had the responsibility to use their heads to think before they had that statement published.  I know what's it like to be criticized for not being a Christian.  I get it.  However, I also understand that the best way to have a discussion with those who disagree with you is to not come off as a jerk or an extremist.

All that said, I do get it.  Conflicts do occur, but one can not always evenly divide blame and responsibility.  Things aren't always fair, for there are times that legitimate gripes and complaints do not justify certain actions in response, especially if it's violent (accidental or not).  I'm not saying that complaints and gripes are over-written forever, but is it really worth it to slam your first into a wall in anger when it could cause property damage, cause another person to be scared for their life, and potentially result in monetary loss or is it better to simply use your voice and explain why you have a problem in the first place?  Frustration is easily understood, but it doesn't always justify violent reactions, especially if it turns out to be assault.

Now I'm not saying that reactions are never provoked.  They most certainly are and will continue to be so long as civilization exists.  It is important to recognize our own internal biases and realize, "Hey!  Maybe there comes a point when somebody's words aren't as important as their actions."  Anybody can have enough charisma to come up with any explanation and make it sound plausible.  Subtle details though can be conveniently left out, such as having one's name on certain accounts while the other person handed over cash. The claim could be made that the other person wasn't paying their fair share of the bills, and there most certainly are times when that does truly occur.  What about the person who handed over some cash to pay for half the bill?  Cash isn't easily traceable, except by the Federal Government (and even then, it can be quite the hassle).  All one would have to say is that they were taking care of the bills, and a witness would see the bill in their name only.

In other words, when splitting the cost of anything, have the names of all parties be a part of the paper trail.  It'll mitigate a lot of headaches later on.

I know I've been rambling.  On and on I go.  It's just sometimes we can't always make things completely fair... at least until enough time has passed, the dust has settled, and cooler heads prevail.  Violence is never a good solution, unless it's in self defense (and even then, it's best to end things as quickly as possible to minimize damage).  The reason for all of this is that life in general is just not fair.  There's supposed to be challenges as well as lessons to learn.  The lesson for this post is simple.  Before entering into any form of agreement, venture, contract, etc... with anybody, all parties should really get to know each other beforehand so that boundaries can be set to minimize hazardous conflict.  If it turns out that there would be conflict on a long term basis, then going back to the drawing board should be in order.  In other words, think things through before making crucial decisions so as to avoid major headaches later on in life.