No Longer a 20 Something

It's been a few days since I last blogged, so I'll catch everyone up.  On Friday morning, my vacation began.  My sinuses were draining as they always do when he weather is changing from winter to spring, so I took some medicine to alleviate the symptoms before taking a nap.

I still managed to do my workout routine beforehand.

After my nap, I began doing some dishes while waiting for my dad to arrive.  When he arrived in Warrensburg, he gave me a call.  I gave him directions to my place on Laurel Street.

Little did I know that I was in for a treat.

The Gift

I got an arcade machine for my 30th birthday.  It has several classic games such as Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, Space Invaders, and more.  When my dad said he thought I'd like it, he was absolutely correct.

I adore the Hell out of the thing.

What's even cooler is the fact that I figured out which switch to hit on the inside of the machine to enable system setup.  I lowered the volume on it as games like Gun Smoke were extremely loud.

I'd rather not have the coolness factor dampened by a police visit due to a noise complaint.

Friday Night

Going with tradition, dad and I went to Heroes in Warrensburg to celebrate.  I took a break from my diet to celebrate my birthday, but I didn't get carried away.  After all, I didn't do dessert.

I simply did cheese fries with a cheeseburger and a few more fries.  My beverage of choice was water.

Saturday

It was a good day.  I had an Aztec Quesadilla burger, some fries, and some water at Country Kitchen.  It was my birthday, so that was eight dollars off.  My dad did the traditional skillet scramble.

While waiting for mom to arrive, we looked around Hastings, where I purchased a copy of 1984.  We also looked around at Central Pawn.  When mom arrived in Warrensburg, we hung around and chatted for a bit.

Then things got interesting.

Spring, my sister, made the decision to come to the 'burg, and we had lunch at Players.  Uncle Tim in Ohio gave me a call after I texted him so he would have my new number.  We talked for a while, he wished me a happy birthday, and I eventually ended the conversation so we could order our food.

I opted for the Mushroom Burger with fries.  As I did previously, I only drank water.

After all was said and done, we met back at the apartment, and we took turns on the arcade machine.  It was then that I had to discover how to change the volume on the sound.

Noise complaints at night on one's birthday... not my idea of fun.... so I flipped the appropriate switch on the circuit board, entered setup, went to the page on the volume control, and lowered the volume.

The good news is that saving high scores is now enabled, so my sister will have to come back and pollute all the high scores with her name.  ;)

Spring and Eric went home, and dad did as well.  The night wasn't over the top, but it was wonderful nonetheless.

Sunday

Dad called to let me know he made it home safely.  Later in the evening, Steve Kelley and I did our latest podcast.  The topic was quite riveting.  With that said, I do have a ways to go in order to improve as a host.  Steve's already doing his part by making new intros and outros and having a blast with it.

Light grocery shopping and putting the podcast online ended the night, which brings me to today....

Monday, Monday, Monday!

Today, may be 30, but it feels like I'm in my 20's at times.  I suppose it's all in the attitude, and in a sense, I am still quite young as I have so much to learn beyond college and the education that I went through going up.

It's time.

Those two words have such a significant meaning to me.  For the longest time, I was a soldier without a general.  Truth be told, the time has come for me to be my own leader in life.  Part of that journey will involve looking through the eyes of others.

That's the reason why I've been reading the Old Testament as of late.  That's the same reason why I'll go to other texts after finishing the New Testament.  Upon reading from the Wiccan perspective, I'll also consult a Buddhist perspective as well as other perspectives.

Some of these other perspectives include other editions of the Bible, such as the Geneva Bible, which came several decades before the King James Version.

I'm also working on the website some more as well.  In addition to the podcast, more articles are going to be written as well.

In terms of important life decisions, I'm also going to take the opportunity to walk to work.  That's why my alarm goes off at 7:30 PM each night that I have to get ready for work.  With gas prices going up, I figured it would be prudent to drive a little less.

Saving money is the added bonus compared to getting into better shape.

This Saturday, I will increase the amount of weight to 20 lbs.  The amount of repetitions will also be reduced for a while as I work my way back up.  I decided to stick with 50 for 10 lbs as I feel it's time to up the ante.

I'm also back on the usual diet as well.  I didn't stray very far from it, but I do need to stick to this new lifestyle as I know for a fact it's working.

The people around me are saying as much as keep getting comments on myself losing weight and looking trimmer.

I wish to continue that trend.

Weekend's Over Wednesday: Mental Marination

Here's another picture of food to wet your appetite so to speak.

In Kissing Jessica Stein, one of the many great quotes from Jessica's girlfriend, Helen, was as follows:

"Don't decide right now, just let it marinate for a while."

 There's been quite a bit on my mind as of late, but before I get to that, I'd like to share what's been happening thus far this week.

Monday

I visited my friends Steve and Seffy on Monday.  Unfortunately, it was very cold outside (of course it warms up the next day too), so even I had a hard time not shivering at 18 degree weather.  I can take the cold, but I have my limits.

One of my new favorite places to eat now is the local Burger King in Warrensburg.  They have options on the menu that accommodate those who are on a low carb diet.  I had three double cheeseburgers without any condiments or a bun along with a side salad without dressing or grape tomatoes.

After hanging out with my friends, I had to go home, because I was having trouble falling asleep that Monday.  For whatever reason, I tend to want to stay awake when I'm off work for the next couple of nights.

Tuesday

I took my work clothes to the Washboard Laundry Mat so I could have clean clothes for the week.  While clothes were washing, I did some shopping and filled up my gas tank.  I returned, put clothes in the dryer, and then went to Muttly's Gun and Pawn to look around.

Pro tip: If you're looking for a cheap place to stock up on anime, a local pawn shop should be on your list of stops to make.

Last night, I checked in on the anime club.  There were some friends that I haven't seen in a while and I wanted to check in on them to see how they were doing.  We had a wonderful time and it was good meeting one of the new officers.

Nate's a pretty cool guy and I think he will make an excellent treasurer.

The cool thing is that the group has been communicating with other anime clubs as well.  This is something that I wanted to see happen, but things happened when I was still in college that prevented that endeavor from being successful.  The organization is in excellent hands.

After the club meeting and hanging out in general, I did a little bit more shopping in the early hours of this morning before going home and falling asleep.

That brings me to this morning.

I have successfully upped my repetitions by two.  That's 33 with the dumbbell and 23 push ups off the wall.  A week from this Saturday, I shall increase everything by three.  The pattern will continue until I can do 100 reps with the dumbbell.

The weight will increase and I'll work my way up to 50 with the higher weight before increasing the weight one more time.  The goal is eventually use all three weights in the entire routine.

From there, I'll eventually increase the number of sets by one for even more muscle building.  Speaking of transitions....

Mental Marination

Like my exercise routine, I'm treading carefully in terms of getting something off my chest.  I won't go into it today, because it's prudent to actually brainstorm the ideas that are floating in my mind and organize them into something coherent.

I'll still work on the website.  After all, I have yet to write the first article (hint: it will mention Piers Morgan).  I'll even do a test podcast.  I have the know how to record and edit audio.  I just need to do the rest, and that plugin for e107 just might do the trick.

In other words, I'll be taking a brief break from personal blogging until sometime in February.  When I return, I'll have something important to say.

• Some may like it.
• Others may not.
• Others may honestly not care.

That's the nature of the Internet.

There's some things that I discovered about myself that explain some things that have happened to me over the last couple of years.  It was quite an epiphany that will be channeled to make myself better than I was before.

Those who are curious will get one hint.  In life it is important to have that great adventure which the individual explores the self as well as their surroundings before everything else occurs.

Allow that to marinate in your mind for a while, and I'll see all of you in February.

Just Another Saturday Morning

Work came and went.  I ran freight in celebration and even helped to zone frozen.  The good news was that it got done.

It's amazing what can happen when a co-worker makes sure that nobody walks away until the job's done.

At the moment, I'm simply relaxing from a night of work while writing this entry.  I've had quite a bit on my mind as of late.  Most of it involves the website.

For those who read yesterday's entry, I'll be moving my site to e107.  It's a content management system that I'm more familiar with.  In terms of security, no matter what software is used, matters tend to improve when one actually keeps an eye on things and updates as needed.

I'm thinking of doing an unorthodox thing by going with a theme that isn't graphically intense.  After all, certain sites like this one and this one get plenty of traffic without graphics everywhere all the time.

Plus, a valid point is made when the individual in question on one of the sites states the following:

"Some webmasters have spent years tweaking their layout and designing their site, and very few get any traffic. This site, as shitty as it looks, gets over 1 million visits per month. I use large fonts also as a protest against all the stylish garbage you see out there. When I go to a web site, I WANT TO READ THE CONTENT. Trust me, that micro-font everyone uses isn't nearly as original as they think. I've chosen a black background for most of my text because it's easier on the eyes than staring at a white screen. Think about it: your monitor is not a piece of paper, no matter how hard you try to make it one. Staring at a white background while you read is like staring at a light bulb (don't believe me? Try turning off the lights next time you use a word processor). Would you stare at a light bulb for hours at a time? Not if you want to keep your vision." --Maddox

A successful site is supposed to be about the content.  All the pretty graphics in the world won't guarantee success.  Plus, the theme I'm thinking of using may give the site an underground feel.

I am looking forward to working on it very soon.  Once this is done, I'll be able to focus on posting content.

On the life front, I have started noticing my sleep schedule changing a bit.  I've been going to bed around 11 AM or noonish and getting up at 9 PM; just an hour before work.  Perhaps changing the way I'm eating is helping matters a bit.

I also did a good deed after I clocked out from work.  The ring that I had with real turquoise was returned to the very person who left it behind.  Even if it wasn't their ring, they had one exactly like it.

I couldn't let a friend go without such an heirloom either way.  I simply took it off the chain and handed it to him.  Hopefully, he'll hold onto it for the rest of his days.  May he and it never part ways.

Anyhoo, it's time for me to wind down so I can eventually go to bed.  I'm thinking the migration of the website may occur after I get home Sunday morning.

At least it would give me something to do while waiting for an appropriate time to go to bed.

Catching Up From Yesterday

I did quite a bit of relaxing yesterday after a long week of work.  I'm sure everybody's been through the same experience as I just went through.  That's why I skipped posting yesterday.

To make up for it, I'll try posting two entries today.

It seems like my so called "weekends" are just wasted anymore.  There have been some exceptions as of late, and for that I am thankful.  It seems that I spend more time during my nights off recovering from the previous week of work.

Perhaps I was in "Friday Mode" when I went in Sunday night.  Or perhaps something else was going on.  That something else that's hard to explain.  I'm certain others have gone through this at least once in their life.

I just kept getting irritated and frustrated.

I'm fully aware that December is really busy.  I still thought I could achieve what I wanted to in order to feel accomplished.  That meant cleaning what needed to be cleaned as quickly as possible while everything else that was assigned was finished.

The impulse merchandise was put away, but the red totes had to be sorted through.  These red totes come in and contains merchandise from various departments, including candy for the cash registers.

It seemed like I kept getting interrupted by customers.  I just wanted to make it through the shift.  After my final break, I was pulled from the front end to zone frozen.

Oh.  Joy.

At least I wasn't abandoned this time.  More good news came from HR as there was a time clock issue (it kept claiming that I was missing a clock out time from Saturday morning) that they were able to help me fix.  If punches aren't fixed in a very particular manner, an error is still shown on the time clock when a punch is made.

Still, I was quite frustrated with life in general at that particular moment.  I just wanted to clock out and start my 48 hours of freedom.  I did manage to give a couple of friends a ride away from work, and that made all the difference.

Oh, and I wished my sister a happy birthday and talked with Robert Bird, a friend of mine who is also a fellow associate from another store.  I relaxed by having some food and some "stress tonics."  Soon after that, I fell asleep.

At this moment, I'm washing dishes in the dishwasher and am about to get a shower.  From there, I'll figure it out.  Have a wonderful day, everyone.  :)

Weekend's Over Wednesday: Mmmm, Pizza!

While the weekend is technically over for me, I still feel excited.  That's because I'll be selling somebody a computer that I don't use anymore.  In turn, I'll be able to purchase the Samsung Galaxy S2.

Exciting times indeed.

Monday was no less exciting though.  I got to spend time with good company and excellent food.

Home made pizza.  :)

Dinner involved a variety of home made, home baked pizzas.  Of course, they weren't the traditional round pies, but they were still delicious.  There was bacon cheeseburger, pepperoni and pineapple, and even desert pizza.  My friend De Lena has a wonderful philosophy when it comes to cooking.

1. Use real butter.
2. When in doubt, add more butter.

The meats were turkey based too, so I had no issues with eating at least one of each variety (I don't eat pork).  The company was fantastic as well.  We shared jokes and had a grand time conversing with one another.

Cora and De Lena (De Lena's the one wearing the jacket)

 I stayed there until the early hours of Tuesday morning.  I slept for a bit, then I woke up.  After spending some time in the apartment, I decided to do some laundry and have some McDonalds (yeah I know... bad for me, but it tastes sooooooooooooooooo goooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddd!).

When all was said and done, I gathered my clean clothes and came home.  The rest of the night was spent blogging about controversy that was generated by a Facebook post.  Hopefully yesterday's post will add more balance to the dialogue at hand regarding fandom of any sort.  Only time will tell.

For now, I'm wanting to relax for a little bit, and eventually go back to bed since I have to work tonight.

Sunday Send Off: Plans for the Week.

Tonight is my "Friday."  In other words, I have Monday and Tuesday nights off.  I'm really looking forward to 7 AM Monday morning.  As I sit here consuming the remainder of my Woodchucks and relaxing, I couldn't help but plan for the week.  Of course things are somewhat tentative, and might change depending on the situation, so I'll have to adjust accordingly.

 Needless to say, I'm thinking that this week is going to be interesting to say the least (and in a good way).


Laundry

I'll definitely need some clean clothes for when I go back to work Wednesday night.  I might do enough of a load to last me a couple of days or do enough to last the usual five depending on the situation.

Meet a Friend for Dinner

 It's been forever since I've had dinner with this friend.  She's one of the most sociable people I've ever met.  She also tends to get worried if she doesn't hear from her friends in a while (she wanted to know if I was mad at her).  It's been a while, so I might as well visit with her and another friend at the same time (haven't had an extended conversation with him in a while either).

Sell the ole' HP dv7 notebook

 I don't use it very much, the touch pad is a royal pain on OS'es other than Windows (right click doesn't work unless I want to do some major tweaking), and switchable graphics and the Linux kernel don't currently get along.  Somebody else is needing a computer to use, and $275 USD sounded good to him.

With that money coming this Thursday, I just might be able to swing...

A Samsung Galaxy S2

I currently have the Exhibit II 4G, which is decent, but the specs are a little low.  If too much stuff is loaded, Android practically has to reload itself after killing as many processes as possible.  For a regular, everyday consumer, it's a great phone.  For what I want to do, I need something a bit more powerful.

Pay Bills

I also get to pay some more bills, which is a part of life.

All in all, I'm looking forward to this week.  Now to get this published, eat some more food, finish off those Woodchucks, and head for bed.

From the Dark Crevices Comes Clarity

For reasons I won't go into at this time, I was in a dark place.  Granted, it wasn't as bad as in the past, but the feeling sucked all the same.  In a previous entry, I wrote about leaving the dating scene.  Well, my mind has this issue known as a delayed reaction.  Everything caught up with me Sunday morning before I fell asleep.

A few tears came out of my eyes.  I was still able to go to work that night and survived into Monday morning.  Anticipating that I was in a dark place, my friend Jason offered to have lunch with me.  I told him I would let him know.  Upon trying to take a nap, I was met with more sadness.  Streams of tears came out of my eyes.  Apparently enough negativity was in my system that it was due for a flushing or face the threat of backing up (also known as a nervous breakdown).  Fortunately, I was in the flushing phase.

After having lunch at King Chef, I took my friend back home.  Due to the fact that I was not in a good place so to speak, lunch was on him.  He knew that I needed somebody to talk to, and talk to him I did. I also talked to my mom that day.  You see, I had picked one hell of a time to feel that way.  I was due at the city council meeting at 7 PM CST to request a response regarding a request to allow the citizens of Warrensburg to petition initiatives themselves instead of relying on election cycles to change the direction of the entire city.

Despite my realizing that feeling like there was nobody for me was a feeling that I loathed, I was able to pull myself together thanks to Jason and my mom so that I could speak to the city council.  On Tuesday, I enjoyed food at the Copper Cyote (that's what others get for complaining about their controversial sign), dessert at Dairy Queen, and watched the Amazing Spiderman.  I ended my night with a trip to Boone's Farm.

So apparently I've gotten to the point that the darkness inside of me is almost totally gone.  I saw the following image posted on a friend's Facebook timeline.  Read it below, because it will reveal what I've been looking for in a significant other all along.

After reading that image, I had an epiphany.  Someone to wake up next to, to eat breakfast (or other meal) with, etc.  Someone to share things with was vague as all let out.  What about something more specific?  Specific as in someone who completes me?  At the moment, I still feel like a puzzle that's only half way complete.  The other pieces are missing, and they are pieces that I can't find on my own.  Nobody can help me find them.  I have to let the pieces find me.  So what are they?

• Willingness to wake up next to me every day (or night depending on the situation), to eat together, play together, and live together.
• Acceptance of me as a person along with my acceptance of her (whomever that may turn out to be) as a person.
• Understanding that I have no intention of becoming a father; I do not want children.  If a potential other wants children, then it's not meant to be.

Combine those pieces with the text in the image above, and you'll have a more complete picture of what I am wanting in a soul mate.  I do believe that a soul mate exists for me, but I can't find one right now.  It's not my time yet.  I also can't keep doing this to myself regarding the dating scene.  Why?

Whether the other person gets annoyed, creeped out, or even hurt would pale in comparison to the fact that I usually hurt myself the most.  I'm tired of that feeling.  The good news is that I can truly begin to let go now and move on with my life.

Bachelor Once Again.

Four.  That number is so significant to me right now.  Why is that?  I'll let you guess for a moment.

Is it a reference to a certain faction in professional wrestling that became legendary?  Am I talking about the main elements in our own existence?  The corners of the globe?  Four is a significant number for me.

Four months.

That's how long my first relationship lasted.  That was a hell of run, but it was time for it to be finished. The lady friend's greatest dream was to be a mom.  Problem is, I don't want kids.  I'm not the parenting type.  Never have been.  Never will be.  She saw it coming too.

It was the high school reunion in Leeton, Missouri.  I brought her along with me.  I caught up a little bit with everyone, and things were going well until one of the kids started to cry.  Children crying grate on my nerves and put me edge.  I don't deal with it very well.

I described how I could cope in some instances when she said, "You better get used to it, 'cuz if we're together long enough and we get married, we're having kids!"  It felt it like I was shutting down on the inside.  I'm not mad at her for that.  I'm grateful that she woke me up.  For too long, I've been compromising who I was just so I could get into a relationship.  Thanks to meeting this person through a mutual friend, I understand fully.

I even told her that to her face.  Text messages and Facebook notifications were not appropriate in this instance.  I had to explain in person.  She understood.  She saw it coming.  She'll no doubt be a bit sad for some time.  Like I told her, "It's not the end of the world, but it is important."  Who am I to deny her the future that she wants?  If I don't want kids, then being with her as a significant other would have only hurt her and myself.

That, and I have my own future to worry about.  If another person comes along, I will be more up front in that category.  Chalk it up to another life lesson learned.  Now I can start moving on.

Oh and by the way, we're still friends.  :)

Memories and Life Lessons

The past... It always has a way of making me reflect on myself and others around me. In this personal post, I won't mention names. The people in question know who they are, and they can contact me if they have any concerns. Everyone else reading this will hopefully understand that I need to get a few things off my chest. Let's begin.

The lady who now works for the power company

I remember you from anime club. You seemed cool at first. I was even pleasantly surprised when I discovered that you worked in the lawn and garden department of my current place of employment. Graduating college and moving on is a concept that all of us embrace. However, I also remember the not so pleasant things about you.

Like when you interrupted me in the middle of my attempt to articulate and convey an argument, because you weren't comfortable with the subject matter. Yes, I fought back tears. Threatening to throw your money on the table at the eating establishment in Dallas and leaving hurt me on the inside.  I also remember how you removed me from your friends list on Facebook after you asked a question (possibly in jest) and me responding with a link that implied that you might need help. I asked about it, and you made some BS claim about cleaning up your list due to an old slow computer. I should have been clued in when you referred to a professor that I hold in high regard as a very deragatory term... one that feminists wouldn't care for.

Those you consider false friends.... Remember when you told them, "Well, you're more his friends anyway..."? I believe you said that to a couple of my friends as you were moving away after they indicated that they would like to remain in touch. I'm pretty sure that they didn't feel like a friend of yours after that. You left mega retail for a local job only to want something better later on.  You move away from the town that you've been a resident of for so many years in order to get to something that you feel may be more fulfilling.

Then you expect a couple of my friends to fawn all over you when you decide to "grace" them with your presence? Why no hugs? One of my friends in question is going through medical issues at the moment. A hug was the last thing they needed at the moment, especially when they are normally the type that only trusts their spouse when it comes to touching. Then again, talking to somebody as if they were a small child probably didn't help matters any either. You claiming to be nice is but a mere mask that you wear. The moment that someone calls you on it, you twist everything. I should have started seeing it a long time ago, but alas. I am naieve.

Thank you.

You showed me the difference between pretending to be kind to others and actually meaning it. You also reinforce my policy against removing any more friends from Facebook unless a conflict of interest would force me to do so. I would like to hear you out regarding your side of the story when it comes to somebody you broke up with, but I also remember the nonesense that you pulled on me a couple of times. I can't just forget about that.

Allow me to give some unsolicited advice. Tone it down on the drama, will you? Your ex has a life of their own now, where they're gainfully employed, engaged to one who he cares about (and one who returns those feelings from what I umderstand), and takes care of his lady's son as if he were his own. Now you're in a relationship with somebody else and from what little I could gather, you two seem to be quite happy. The ex has moved on. Why don't you do the same?

To the one who tried to act like my father

I will never forget your actions so long as I live. Yes, I opened up to my family and my friends about what happened during the final year and a half of college. You may attempt to claim that it was all a game publicly.  After all, that's what you told me to tell others in case the "big secret" got out.  Ironically, you did play a game, but it was with each person's life that you encountered. It was those games that caused a rift between people that could have been good friends. Perhaps one day, I will be able to repair some broken ties.

You obsessed over a girl that no longer wanted you to the point where you asked me to break into their e-mail account.  That was not cool.  Whether it was that or your intervention in January of 2011 that caused me to want to stay away from you, I will never know.  I do know what finally convinced me to do so.

Things had been going wrong with me last summer.  Not only did I not get to move in with a group of people that seemed almost like a family, but I was not to be a dear friend's new room mate.  I wanted to get out of that old apartment so badly.  Then it happened.  I had enough and decided to find a new place come hell or high water.  I found that new place on the first try.  The location and type of building was well suited to what I was looking for.  It was a Monday night in late August.

I had been moving things with the help of my mom.  Then you called pitching a project idea and wanting to "inspect" my new place.  The next morning, I drew the line.  I needed to settle in where I was at.  I also needed time to myself without being disrupted by your presence.  Around you, I started becoming something I didn't like.  I see that now.

It was a gentleman in Florida who once stated, "Be who you want to be, not what everyone else wants you to be."  I was losing my own identity to you and your so called mission to "help" people.  What about what I wanted in life?  What about my website?  My hopes?  My dreams?  They almost spiraled into nothing.  Almost.

The one who helped me was the one that told you that you needed to get your own life.  It was the same person who told you that it was not your place to tell me how to live my life.  I'm now rebuilding myself.  It'll take time, but I'll get there eventually.  I have made some progress, but there's always room for improvement.

The anime club's future may be uncertain at the moment.  However, the membership will now get to determine the direction they want to go and possibly move the group back to its original intent.  They will do just fine without your molding or mine.  It's their group after all, and they should do what they want to do.

With that said, you need to know one more thing.  I've heard about how others will never talk to you ever again as if they hate you or just "forget" about you.  I refuse to forget about you, because you are a part of life's many lessons for me to learn.  In short, I don't hate you.  I never will.

I may disagree with your past actions.  Hating you will get me nowhere.  The last time I checked, you were engaged to somebody you found to be special.  I hope it works out for you.  I also wish you the best of luck in finding a new job that you can be fulfilled at.  Finally, I wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors.  Living for yourself can be challenging, yet very rewarding.  Keep up the good work, and please... for God's sake... finish your website.

As for the individual who wanted a "country boy" instead of a real man...

You can run.  You can try to hide.  People in this town know you for what you are.  You looked at my friend and told him that he wasn't country enough for you.  You then shack up with somebody who is old enough to be your father.  You're still attempting to control my friend by using a small child as a weapon.  That isn't right.

The bad part is that you know what you're doing is wrong.  Yet you isolate yourself from other people, because you know they would disagree with what you're doing.  There are times in which I can be flexible when it comes to infidelity in a marriage.  This isn't one of them.

Your husband, unlike another friend of mine, did not have diabetes, schizophrenia, and bi-polar disorder at the same time.  He was quite sane, had his own identity, and was an overall good person.  He still is to this day.  Yet you chose to hide behind smoke screens and lurk around other peoples' profiles online.  Then you seek to control your current husband despite you two being separated.

As far as I'm concerned, he can date whoever he wants.  He can do whatever he wants so long as he doesn't harm others.  What difference does it make?  You two are separated.  If you can shack up with somebody who's nearly in their 40's, then my friend can live his own life thank you very much.  Ironically, I am thanking you.... for bringing a friend back into my life.

All that I ask in return is that you stop walling yourself off from other people, stop trying to control my friend, and be more mature about the situation.  If he wasn't what you wanted all along, then let it be.  For goodness sake, get out of that trailer you're in.  It's probably riddled with mold.  If you're worried about baby clothes, go to the clothes closet (south on 13, Variety Center).  It only costs a couple of bucks to get as many clothes as your son needs.  Stop wasting your money on brand new clothes when he's only going to outgrow them anyway.  Oh, and don't blindly follow WIC literature.  Instead, ask others who have actually raised children.  Save up your money and actually move somewhere that's decent.  It would only benefit your son after all.

To the ones who hated me last year

They say things come in threes.  Well, I'm being a nonconformist.  To the guy that was shaking in anger and frustration at me.  To the lady who was upset with me.  I am sorry.  I was a pawn in somebody else's game and I sincerely hope you weren't their pawn as well.  I see that one of you is now president of the anime club.  Congratulations.  I hope it turns out well.  I may not be able to attend most meetings this fall, because it's an election year.  However, know that I am stockpiling some anime (Central Pawn and Muttly's has an interesting selection).  In other words, I'm rediscovering anime itself.  Also know that I am no longer a part of a certain circle that resides on the other side of this state.  It's been several months since I last spoke to the person in question.  I wish you the best of luck.

Conclusion

I have my own life now.  Thanks to all the above and more, I am learning more than a textbook can ever teach me.  For that, I am grateful.  I will continue to be as such while I am defining myself the only way I know how.  I'm truly looking forward to my 30th next year.  Thanks for reading.