As a child on December 25th, I would be excited about the gifts that I would possibly be receiving as well as giving gifts to others. Even when I was sick, I saw to it that I didn't miss that day. That was years ago. This year, I'm staying in.
Retail tends to do that to some such as myself. After tending to the needs and desires of other people for the past several days, I decided to spend the day decompressing. Part of it shall involve some self reflection.
To say that 2012 was an interesting year would be an understatement.
The Beginning
It was one of those things that I did not expect. First I meet a friend's wonderful sister for lunch at King Chef Buffet in Warrensburg. Her name was Emily. We have a nice conversation, and then hang out with my friend for a while before I have to take a nap. It was unfortunate that it wasn't on my day off, so I had to go back and get some sleep before work.
Then something else happened.
I had also been introduced to somebody else online by an acquaintance. Soon after, I began to text this person (after her friend insisted that they ask me to do so). I made a reference to Austin Powers and that amused her.
Her name was Heather, and after hanging out a couple of weeks in a row, we began our romantic relationship. It wound up lasting for four months. Unless she was watching her niece, Tuesdays would be our day. I met her family, and she eventually met my mom.
The relationship lasts four months. At the beginning of June, I go to my high school reunion. I took her with me and we had a great time. The moment that caused me to realize that I wasn't the right person for her was when one of my fellow graduates offspring starts crying.
As I'm describing how in another situation, I could simply drown it out with headphones, they interject that I better get used to it. The declaration was made that if we were together long enough and we got married, we would be having children.
It was at that moment that I began to shut down on the inside. It was not a good feeling. I did not communicate with her at all during my lunch hour that night at work. What else could I do? I had no idea what to say after all of that.
So I did some research online. There were varying answers, but one in particular appeared over and over again. When it comes to children, it's important to be up front and honest. It should not be something to be compromised on.
That was exactly how I felt. As unpleasant as it was, I realized I could not deny somebody of a dream they had since they were a small child, especially if it turns out that I'm sterile. One of these days, I'll be tested to make sure. Suffice it to say, because of the amount of steroids put into my system at the age of six due to surgery that I had, it's a possibility.
I explained to her in person that the relationship was not meant to be due to the fact that her choice in life and mine were not intertwined. Who am I to deny somebody else their dream? Fortunately, she is now with the right person.
I soon did something that in retrospect, I shouldn't have done. I went back to the dating sites and looked for the right person. The problem is that I am not good at looking for somebody significant in my life, and I never will be. I also should have clarified that I don't hate children. I simply don't want to bring any into this world, a point I will expand on soon enough.
Political Aspirations
For the second time around, I ran for Congress. As in U.S. Congress. I ran in Missouri's Fourth District, because that's where I live. For those who haven't figured it out by now, I am a Libertarian.
For those wanting to know where they actually stand on the political map, this quiz can be very helpful.
Since there was another person running for the same position under the same party, a primary was required to determine who would be on November's ballot. I won the primary, and my opponent messaged my fan page and typed in all caps.
Election years, especially major ones, brings out all sorts of interesting people.
I managed to get over 10,000 votes in November, which was more than the previous candidate in 2010. Libertarianism is on an upward trend. I'm beginning to see more and more people getting tired of the status quo.
I'm also learning that I have more influence than I initially realized.
End of the Year Drama
The good news: I was able to get myself a Samsung Galaxy S2. It has a better camera on it for pictures as well as faster hardware. I had to sell a computer in order to buy it, but it was a machine that I no longer wanted to use.
Ubuntu 12.04 and hybrid graphics aren't exactly like peanut butter and jelly.
There was some minor drama in the geek circle. Tony Harris created quite a bit of a stir by posting a private Facebook status update decrying the issue of "fake geek girls." What followed was mindless group think.
Because of what he posted, people thought that he hated women and objectified them via comic book art. No research was done into the work he has done. If anyone had, they would have discovered that he doesn't objectify women in his work or exaggerate their proportions (and that he outright refuses to do so).
More importantly, Harris wasn't the first one to come up with such a rant regarding "fake geeks" in the first place. Before Tony Harris, there was Maddox. Granted, his whole purpose is stir people up, but still... where were all the so called "feminists" when he declared that being a geek or nerd wasn't sexy?
For those who wonder if posers do exist in the geek/nerd realm, look no further than Mike Ramirez. As a columnist for Expert Comics, he has personally witnessed poserism at its finest.
What have they referred to con goers as?
- “all ugly guys with no lives”
- “weirdo nerds”
- “unbathed geeks”
- “creepy guys who smell bad but maybe I can get a modeling gig”
- “gross little cretins but maybe they won’t ALL be nerds”
What Ramirez points out is that there are those who are willing to step on others in order to get further in life, even if only for a brief moment. He also points out that there is a deeper issue; the corporatization of comic books in general.
Think about it for one moment. Disney now owns Marvel and Time Warner owns D.C. When was the last time you heard of an independent title taking the world by storm? The closest thing I can think of is CrossGen Comics, and they went out of business due to financial issues.
...and now Disney owns their assets.
I'm quite thankful that Ramirez was able to fairly look at the situation and realize a deeper issue instead of going along the lines of mindless group think. The only reason I defended Harris on my blog was because of the disproportionate amount of people who echoed the sentiment of him being a woman hater.
Even more mindless group think came as a result of the recent shootings in Connecticut. I took my time commenting directly on the event. Instead, I shared certain images on Facebook hoping that others would get what I was trying to do.
I was trying to get people to think outside the box instead of being dominated by their emotions and corporate controlled media. One of the images showed the Connecticut and Colorado shooter side by side. One of the arguments made was that both their fathers were witnesses in a scandal.
Whether true or not, the point was that corporate controlled media was all too willing to talk about the lost lives, the grieving family members, and oh yes... gun control.... When it came to other things just as newsworthy, it was swept under the rug and practically ignored.
I personally choose not to own firearms, but that was my choice. Everybody in my view should have the choice on whether or not they should own firearms or any weapons for that matter. Banning a certain type of weapon will only cause the creation of more weapons.
We don't have a weapons problem. We have a people problem.
The two examples of mindless group think is what has solidified my position on not having any children of my own. For starters, I don't have the patience for screaming crying babies and toddlers. It's like nails on a chalk board to me.
Furthermore, I am noticing more and more people wanting to go along with the crowd instead of choosing their own path. Societal pressure tends to do that. That's also why I'm no longer on dating sites. I realized that I was caving into that same pressure.
In a society where loss of virginity is mentioned on a regular basis, I can still say that I am a virgin at 29 years of age. The probability of me still being one when I turn 30 is very high. When it comes to a "soul mate," I am no longer in any hurry.
After all, I want to spend time being myself and enjoying what I have in life.
Conclusion and Upcoming Projects
I've changed this year. At the beginning of 2012, I argued that it was the end, but the beginning of something new. I've been at the same company for six years and will probably make the seven year mark barring extreme circumstances (good or bad).
I'm applying a go with the flow type of attitude to my life and so far it seems to be working. I've also listened to my body a bit more than I have been in the past. I finally bought some new shoes, and in 2013 I may invest in a couple of more so I can rotate them in the hopes that they will all last longer.
I'm also assisting an independent film maker with a website. Their film is complete. They just need a web presence. I also want to work on my website some more. If I can learn Drupal, I can become more versatile.
I also wish to be more successful in what I do in life. That will mean more discipline and hard (and smart) work. For now though, I am grateful for all the things I have in life at the moment. There is no telling what tomorrow or the new year will bring.
The one thing that is for certain is that it won't be boring. ;)
