A 2012 Retrospective

I took a break from blogging due to the holiday sales season.  It's amazing how draining it can be even when one knows what's coming.  Then again, Christmas isn't quite the same for me at 29 as it was in years prior.

As a child on December 25th, I would be excited about the gifts that I would possibly be receiving as well as giving gifts to others.  Even when I was sick, I saw to it that I didn't miss that day.  That was years ago.  This year, I'm staying in.

Retail tends to do that to some such as myself.  After tending to the needs and desires of other people for the past several days, I decided to spend the day decompressing.  Part of it shall involve some self reflection.

To say that 2012 was an interesting year would be an understatement.

The Beginning

 It was one of those things that I did not expect.  First I meet a friend's wonderful sister for lunch at King Chef Buffet in Warrensburg.  Her name was Emily.  We have a nice conversation, and then hang out with my friend for a while before I have to take a nap.  It was unfortunate that it wasn't on my day off, so I had to go back and get some sleep before work.

Then something else happened.

I had also been introduced to somebody else online by an acquaintance.  Soon after, I began to text this person (after her friend insisted that they ask me to do so).  I made a reference to Austin Powers and that amused her.

Her name was Heather, and after hanging out a couple of weeks in a row, we began our romantic relationship.  It wound up lasting for four months.  Unless she was watching her niece, Tuesdays would be our day.  I met her family, and she eventually met my mom.

The relationship lasts four months.  At the beginning of June, I go to my high school reunion.  I took her with me and we had a great time.  The moment that caused me to realize that I wasn't the right person for her was when one of my fellow graduates offspring starts crying.

As I'm describing how in another situation, I could simply drown it out with headphones, they interject that I better get used to it.  The declaration was made that if we were together long enough and we got married, we would be having children.

It was at that moment that I began to shut down on the inside.  It was not a good feeling.  I did not communicate with her at all during my lunch hour that night at work.  What else could I do?  I had no idea what to say after all of that.

So I did some research online.  There were varying answers, but one in particular appeared over and over again.  When it comes to children, it's important to be up front and honest.  It should not be something to be compromised on.

That was exactly how I felt.  As unpleasant as it was, I realized I could not deny somebody of a dream they had since they were a small child, especially if it turns out that I'm sterile.  One of these days, I'll be tested to make sure.  Suffice it to say, because of the amount of steroids put into my system at the age of six due to surgery that I had, it's a possibility.

I explained to her in person that the relationship was not meant to be due to the fact that her choice in life and mine were not intertwined.  Who am I to deny somebody else their dream?  Fortunately, she is now with the right person.

I soon did something that in retrospect, I shouldn't have done.  I went back to the dating sites and looked for the right person.  The problem is that I am not good at looking for somebody significant in my life, and I never will be.  I also should have clarified that I don't hate children.  I simply don't want to bring any into this world, a point I will expand on soon enough.

Political Aspirations

For the second time around, I ran for Congress.  As in U.S. Congress.  I ran in Missouri's Fourth District, because that's where I live.  For those who haven't figured it out by now, I am a Libertarian.

For those wanting to know where they actually stand on the political map, this quiz can be very helpful.

Since there was another person running for the same position under the same party, a primary was required to determine who would be on November's ballot.  I won the primary, and my opponent messaged my fan page and typed in all caps.

Election years, especially major ones, brings out all sorts of interesting people.

I managed to get over 10,000 votes in November, which was more than the previous candidate in 2010.  Libertarianism is on an upward trend.  I'm beginning to see more and more people getting tired of the status quo.

I'm also learning that I have more influence than I initially realized.

End of the Year Drama

The good news: I was able to get myself a Samsung Galaxy S2.  It has a better camera on it for pictures as well as faster hardware.  I had to sell a computer in order to buy it, but it was a machine that I no longer wanted to use.

Ubuntu 12.04 and hybrid graphics aren't exactly like peanut butter and jelly.

There was some minor drama in the geek circle.  Tony Harris created quite a bit of a stir by posting a private Facebook status update decrying the issue of "fake geek girls."  What followed was mindless group think.

Because of what he posted, people thought that he hated women and objectified them via comic book art.  No research was done into the work he has done.  If anyone had, they would have discovered that he doesn't objectify women in his work or exaggerate their proportions (and that he outright refuses to do so).

More importantly, Harris wasn't the first one to come up with such a rant regarding "fake geeks" in the first place.  Before Tony Harris, there was Maddox.  Granted, his whole purpose is stir people up, but still... where were all the so called "feminists" when he declared that being a geek or nerd wasn't sexy?

For those who wonder if posers do exist in the geek/nerd realm, look no further than Mike Ramirez.  As a columnist for Expert Comics, he has personally witnessed poserism at its finest.

What have they referred to con goers as?

• “all ugly guys with no lives”
• “weirdo nerds”
• “unbathed geeks”
• “creepy guys who smell bad but maybe I can get a modeling gig”
•  “gross little cretins but maybe they won’t ALL be nerds”

 Now granted, at some conventions there have been issues where people are so engaged in things that they forget to shower and sleep every once and a while.  At A-Kon for example, they often encourage people to get enough rest and to actually bathe to avoid "con-funk."

What Ramirez points out is that there are those who are willing to step on others in order to get further in life, even if only for a brief moment.  He also points out that there is a deeper issue; the corporatization of comic books in general.

Think about it for one moment.  Disney now owns Marvel and Time Warner owns D.C.  When was the last time you heard of an independent title taking the world by storm?  The closest thing I can think of is CrossGen Comics, and they went out of business due to financial issues.

...and now Disney owns their assets.

I'm quite thankful that Ramirez was able to fairly look at the situation and realize a deeper issue instead of going along the lines of mindless group think.  The only reason I defended Harris on my blog was because of the disproportionate amount of people who echoed the sentiment of him being a woman hater.

Even more mindless group think came as a result of the recent shootings in Connecticut.  I took my time commenting directly on the event.  Instead, I shared certain images on Facebook hoping that others would get what I was trying to do.

I was trying to get people to think outside the box instead of being dominated by their emotions and corporate controlled media.  One of the images showed the Connecticut and Colorado shooter side by side.  One of the arguments made was that both their fathers were witnesses in a scandal.

Whether true or not, the point was that corporate controlled media was all too willing to talk about the lost lives, the grieving family members, and oh yes... gun control.... When it came to other things just as newsworthy, it was swept under the rug and practically ignored.

I personally choose not to own firearms, but that was my choice.  Everybody in my view should have the choice on whether or not they should own firearms or any weapons for that matter.  Banning a certain type of weapon will only cause the creation of more weapons.

We don't have a weapons problem.  We have a people problem.

The two examples of mindless group think is what has solidified my position on not having any children of my own.  For starters, I don't have the patience for screaming crying babies and toddlers.  It's like nails on a chalk board to me.

Furthermore, I am noticing more and more people wanting to go along with the crowd instead of choosing their own path.  Societal pressure tends to do that.  That's also why I'm no longer on dating sites.  I realized that I was caving into that same pressure.

In a society where loss of virginity is mentioned on a regular basis, I can still say that I am a virgin at 29 years of age.  The probability of me still being one when I turn 30 is very high.  When it comes to a "soul mate," I am no longer in any hurry.

After all, I want to spend time being myself and enjoying what I have in life.

Conclusion and Upcoming Projects

 I've changed this year.  At the beginning of 2012, I argued that it was the end, but the beginning of something new.  I've been at the same company for six years and will probably make the seven year mark barring extreme circumstances (good or bad).

I'm applying a go with the flow type of attitude to my life and so far it seems to be working.  I've also listened to my body a bit more than I have been in the past.  I finally bought some new shoes, and in 2013 I may invest in a couple of more so I can rotate them in the hopes that they will all last longer.

I'm also assisting an independent film maker with a website.  Their film is complete.  They just need a web presence.  I also want to work on my website some more.  If I can learn Drupal, I can become more versatile.

I also wish to be more successful in what I do in life.  That will mean more discipline and hard (and smart) work.  For now though, I am grateful for all the things I have in life at the moment.  There is no telling what tomorrow or the new year will bring.

The one thing that is for certain is that it won't be boring.  ;)

Catching Up From Yesterday

I did quite a bit of relaxing yesterday after a long week of work.  I'm sure everybody's been through the same experience as I just went through.  That's why I skipped posting yesterday.

To make up for it, I'll try posting two entries today.

It seems like my so called "weekends" are just wasted anymore.  There have been some exceptions as of late, and for that I am thankful.  It seems that I spend more time during my nights off recovering from the previous week of work.

Perhaps I was in "Friday Mode" when I went in Sunday night.  Or perhaps something else was going on.  That something else that's hard to explain.  I'm certain others have gone through this at least once in their life.

I just kept getting irritated and frustrated.

I'm fully aware that December is really busy.  I still thought I could achieve what I wanted to in order to feel accomplished.  That meant cleaning what needed to be cleaned as quickly as possible while everything else that was assigned was finished.

The impulse merchandise was put away, but the red totes had to be sorted through.  These red totes come in and contains merchandise from various departments, including candy for the cash registers.

It seemed like I kept getting interrupted by customers.  I just wanted to make it through the shift.  After my final break, I was pulled from the front end to zone frozen.

Oh.  Joy.

At least I wasn't abandoned this time.  More good news came from HR as there was a time clock issue (it kept claiming that I was missing a clock out time from Saturday morning) that they were able to help me fix.  If punches aren't fixed in a very particular manner, an error is still shown on the time clock when a punch is made.

Still, I was quite frustrated with life in general at that particular moment.  I just wanted to clock out and start my 48 hours of freedom.  I did manage to give a couple of friends a ride away from work, and that made all the difference.

Oh, and I wished my sister a happy birthday and talked with Robert Bird, a friend of mine who is also a fellow associate from another store.  I relaxed by having some food and some "stress tonics."  Soon after that, I fell asleep.

At this moment, I'm washing dishes in the dishwasher and am about to get a shower.  From there, I'll figure it out.  Have a wonderful day, everyone.  :)

Sunday Sendoff: Hot Pocket Kinda Day

Work was draining, yet enjoyable. I dealt with a tax exempt transaction that was over $700 USD. 'tis the season for charitable giving.

Lots of clothing and some good items were included in the transaction. It does my heart good knowing that people are willing to go out of their way to help other people who are down on their luck. It sort of reminds me of a few years ago a kind gentleman paid for another customer's merchandise when they weren't able to.

After lunch, I ran some candy and celebration freight. When I put everything away, I went on my final 15 minute break. I helped zone features and end caps after it was over.

When I clocked out, I was craving Hot Pockets, so I bought some. Now I am eating them and relaxing before I go to bed. :)

Not Cooking Today

It was a long night at work. Needless to say, I am not preparing any good for myself. I went to Wendy's and ordered some cheesy cheddar burgers at 7:30 in the morning.

Other burger places serve breakfast only until about 10 or 11:00 AM. That is why I a fan of Wendy's.

Friday Quicky

As I am about to fall asleep, I want to take a moment to say how grateful I am for what I have. I have been quite content with my life as of late. No matter what happens or continues to happen I will always get through it. This must be why I am truly happy to be where I am at.

Now that I have a mobile device and a data plan that seems to be satisfactory, I will aim to replace my ZaReason Breeze 3110 with another AND based system. For now, I shall simply go to sleep.

A Present To Me

Well, I did it. I bought the Samsung Galaxy S2. I now have a phone with enough power to do what I want to do. The old SIM card is in the new phone and.everything is up and running.

I also paid some bills today. The good news is that my car insurance is taken care of for the remainder of the year. That will leave an extra $60 or more in my pocket each month (until February of next year).

So now I shall keep this post brief and go to bed. I am getting sleepy. :)

Weekend's Over Wednesday: Mmmm, Pizza!

While the weekend is technically over for me, I still feel excited.  That's because I'll be selling somebody a computer that I don't use anymore.  In turn, I'll be able to purchase the Samsung Galaxy S2.

Exciting times indeed.

Monday was no less exciting though.  I got to spend time with good company and excellent food.

Home made pizza.  :)

Dinner involved a variety of home made, home baked pizzas.  Of course, they weren't the traditional round pies, but they were still delicious.  There was bacon cheeseburger, pepperoni and pineapple, and even desert pizza.  My friend De Lena has a wonderful philosophy when it comes to cooking.

1. Use real butter.
2. When in doubt, add more butter.

The meats were turkey based too, so I had no issues with eating at least one of each variety (I don't eat pork).  The company was fantastic as well.  We shared jokes and had a grand time conversing with one another.

Cora and De Lena (De Lena's the one wearing the jacket)

 I stayed there until the early hours of Tuesday morning.  I slept for a bit, then I woke up.  After spending some time in the apartment, I decided to do some laundry and have some McDonalds (yeah I know... bad for me, but it tastes sooooooooooooooooo goooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddd!).

When all was said and done, I gathered my clean clothes and came home.  The rest of the night was spent blogging about controversy that was generated by a Facebook post.  Hopefully yesterday's post will add more balance to the dialogue at hand regarding fandom of any sort.  Only time will tell.

For now, I'm wanting to relax for a little bit, and eventually go back to bed since I have to work tonight.

A Rebelious Put-Off.

I skipped posting yesterday, because I was hanging out with a few good friends for dinner.  I had a wonderful time and got to meet a couple of cool people.  I'll talk more about that another day.

What I would like to discuss today is something that I've seen over and over again.  It's a mixture of rebels being put off by success in conjunction with infighting and accusations of one of the varying forms of bigotry.

Unfortunately, this horrible concoction has found its way into the nerd and geek realms.

Before I begin, it should be noted that context is very important in fully understanding a situation.  Emotions flew all over the place regarding a personal Facebook post on the part of Tony Harris, who has been a part of the comic book industry for over 20 years.  Here it is:

Click the image for a larger version on The Daily What.

The published screenshot created controversy, and one of the most well known video responses is as follows:

Of course, there are other responses as well.  The one thing that many of these responses had in common was the accusations of sexism and how one shouldn't deem a female to not be a real geek and/or nerd.

I couldn't agree more.

However, what happened was that emotions overwhelmed the part of the mind that is thoughtful and reasonable.  It happens to each and every one of us when it comes to a subject that touches are hearts.  After all, we're human and prone to this sort of thing.

What I am about to do is to ask you, the reader, to do something that could be potentially challenging (or even difficult) depending on your individual situation.

After reading the entire quote from the screen-cap posted at the beginning and watching the entire video, I would like for you to take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and set your emotions aside for a moment.

It's time to start thinking.

While it is most understandable that women throughout history have been discriminated against, manipulated, and abused, there are times when certain actions are misconstrued as being such when the intent of those actions are entirely different.

Let's begin by asking the question; What was the intent of Tony Harris, a veteran of the comic book industry when he ranted on his own personal Facebook?  Was he hanging up a "no girls allowed" sign, or was he speaking out against something else entirely?

Let's go through what he wrote, shall we?

He opines that he's going to say something without caring what everyone else thinks.  It's his opinion after all, and as individuals, we are all entitled to ours.  He goes on to say that there are some women who cosplay at conventions who are actually into the comic books that the characters come from in the first place.

In other words, he doesn't have an issue with them.  What he writes next is what gets him in some hot water.  He goes on to say that there are too many women who dress up as some of the most popular characters without having ever read the comic books themselves, let alone know anything about them.

I can see where he would be called sexist on that.  However, middle of his rant, he does note that it was based on what has happened around him at his booth at various conventions.

To be fair, there has been various shenanigans that have occurred at various conventions, whether it be of the pro-wrestling, science fiction, comic book, or anime type.  There are going to be things that are irritating, no matter what.

I would know as I have experienced it once when I was dressed up as the Millenium Earl at Naka-Kon one year.  I was essentially criticized for wearing a mostly pre-made costume instead of putting it together myself.  Personally, I didn't care.  Elitists are everywhere, and there's nothing that can be done about that.

The problem is that someone speaking out against something that annoys them is often confused with being elitist.  In a manner similar to night shift workers at a retail outlet not feeling appreciated when members of management and people from the day are covered in a magazine while they're left out, Harris argues that without the comic book artists and writers, the books themselves would not exist in the first place, there would be no following, and no conventions to speak of.

So again, is he really sexist or is something else going on?

It is often said that a rebel is often put off by their own success.  After all, becoming mainstream would mean that they are no longer a rebel, hence their cause is now obsolete.  The only option left is to either find a new cause or become irrelevant.

So let's revisit the question.  Was he being sexist?  Does he hate women cosplayers?  Does he hate cosplayers at all?

Well, no, as B. Clay Moore on Twitter points out.  For further consideration, here are a couple of comments from the Comics Beat website:

The first comment has some offending parts, such as not being a nerd if one is now just enjoying something.  To be honest, I have collected some comic books, but I don't do so anymore.  I have a couple, but that's about it.  For that reason, I don't refer to myself as a comic book nerd.

My interests are in computers and the software that's on their hard drives.  I know full well that the Captain America movie did not follow the comic book series as much as some would have liked.  That didn't stop me from enjoying it.  The same thing with the Amazing Spiderman movie.

And therein lies the problem.

More and more people know about Captain America, Spiderman, and other comic book characters because of the movies that have been in theaters.  I'm fairly confident in saying that a significant portion of the audience of said films more than likely did not read any of the comic books beforehand.

In a sense, Hollywood has made the characters from those books very popular, yet in a sense watered down to the point where most people will never hear of a Tony Harris, J. Michael Straczynski, or John Romita Jr, because they never read the comic books in the first place.  That doesn't mean those who enjoyed the movies are bad for only watching the movies.

It simply means they aren't comic book geeks or nerds, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  It appears to me that what Harris was speaking out against was a form of mindless group think.  If something looks cool, hip, and "in," there are those who will make themselves appear to be a part of that something, even if that isn't who they are.

It's known as being a pretender, and sadly, they exist no matter the genre.  Those who pretend to be something they are not are often not comfortable with who they really are.  To be fair, there is no way to tell what the thoughts of every single cosplayer out there happens to be.  Only the cosplayer knows.

And to continue to add balance to this discussion, there are those who just think the costume of a character is really cool, so they dress up as that character.  Nothing more, nothing less.  There's nothing wrong with that.  However, I can see how it can be irritating when cameras from corporate controlled media are surrounding that person instead of the writers and artists behind the comic book series in which the character came from.

In other words, the creation of fiction has been taken for granted, and much to the chagrin of some, it is important to recognize that those who created the characters, drew the characters, and wrote stories surrounding the characters are individuals with feelings too.

Notice how I didn't refer to male or female in the last few sentences.  I said individual.  Before I explain why I did so, here is what Joe The Peacock had to say on the matter at hand:

"Tony has spent his nearly 25 years in comics innovating and creating some incredible properties, characters, art and culture. One major aspect of Tony's art: he's one of the very few male artists in mainstream (superhero) comics who has ever outright refused to draw idealized / fetishized / objectified women in his work."

 Seeing as how Tony is a friend of Joe's, it's a safe bet that he knows him well enough to be able to make such a statement at all.  What did the individual in the video accuse Harris of doing?  Objectifying women.  Also consider the following:

"Have you ever vented in the spur of the moment, something you wish you'd taken some time to really think out? Have you ever used Facebook as a catharsis for a burst of emotion? Have you ever felt your logical side peek out and say "Hey now, you know that's not what you really feel..." only to have your emotional side say "YEAH BUT IT FELT REALLY GOOD TO SAY!"

Ever regretted it? Not that you felt it or how you think, but how you said it?

Maybe consider that when you realize that this is what happened here, but instead of a bunch of comments and unfriending, the guy was put on an international stage across tons of blogs and Tumblr pages and news feeds and Twitter and cannot possibly respond to the volume of feedback (which has, as it did with me, coalesced into a tide of "You're EVIL!") much less reflect, explain or, if he wanted to, apologize?"

 No matter what, words are going to get taken out of context.  Emotions that aren't kept in check play a role in that.  Trolls will appear in order to stir the pot.  That's what trolls do.  The cycle keeps going until the latest thing happens that either gets the masses enthusiastic, angry, or both.

To imply that those who say the things that Harris said are no better than the bullies slamming kids into lockers.  As someone who has been bullied in school growing up, I find such a notion insulting.  Harris has essentially been accused of committing a thought crime.

Did Harris generalize?  Yes.  Is he the only individual who has done so?  No.  There is a reason why in various forms of the New Testament, the phrase, "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone." exists (male oriented, but it's a male oriented religious text we're talking about).  It's the same reason that the theme of the pot calling the kettle black exists.  In other words, to a degree, we are all hypocrites.

Perhaps before pointing fingers at somebody else, we should all, as individuals, look at ourselves in the mirror and ask, "How can I be better today than I was yesterday?"  Nobody is perfect.  We are all human.

Too much political correctness is often the death knell of any given community.  Harris was not speaking about all women who dressed up in costumes, but about a few he has encountered.  While he doesn't speak for an entire community, neither does the individual in the video nor any other blogger who has spoken and will continue to speak on the matter at hand.

In my opinion, it was not about "protecting something from others," but about pointing out how something has become watered down because less and less people are reading the comic books, reading up on the history of the characters and series, and appreciating who brought the product into existence in the first place.

To drive the point home, both males and females are responsible for the wonderful comics that have existed over the years.

To sum up, I share the same views as the kid in one of the Mighty Ducks movies who didn't care about politics between schools and simply wanted to play hockey.  I just want to enjoy the occasional comic book (I do plan on getting some more of them at some point, even if it's only digital), watch the occasional movie, play some video games, play on the computer and the Internet.

I just want to have fun and enjoy my life.  With that, my opinion has been shared.  You the reader are free to do the same.

Sunday Send Off: Plans for the Week.

Tonight is my "Friday."  In other words, I have Monday and Tuesday nights off.  I'm really looking forward to 7 AM Monday morning.  As I sit here consuming the remainder of my Woodchucks and relaxing, I couldn't help but plan for the week.  Of course things are somewhat tentative, and might change depending on the situation, so I'll have to adjust accordingly.

 Needless to say, I'm thinking that this week is going to be interesting to say the least (and in a good way).


Laundry

I'll definitely need some clean clothes for when I go back to work Wednesday night.  I might do enough of a load to last me a couple of days or do enough to last the usual five depending on the situation.

Meet a Friend for Dinner

 It's been forever since I've had dinner with this friend.  She's one of the most sociable people I've ever met.  She also tends to get worried if she doesn't hear from her friends in a while (she wanted to know if I was mad at her).  It's been a while, so I might as well visit with her and another friend at the same time (haven't had an extended conversation with him in a while either).

Sell the ole' HP dv7 notebook

 I don't use it very much, the touch pad is a royal pain on OS'es other than Windows (right click doesn't work unless I want to do some major tweaking), and switchable graphics and the Linux kernel don't currently get along.  Somebody else is needing a computer to use, and $275 USD sounded good to him.

With that money coming this Thursday, I just might be able to swing...

A Samsung Galaxy S2

I currently have the Exhibit II 4G, which is decent, but the specs are a little low.  If too much stuff is loaded, Android practically has to reload itself after killing as many processes as possible.  For a regular, everyday consumer, it's a great phone.  For what I want to do, I need something a bit more powerful.

Pay Bills

I also get to pay some more bills, which is a part of life.

All in all, I'm looking forward to this week.  Now to get this published, eat some more food, finish off those Woodchucks, and head for bed.

Go With the Flow

It's Saturday and I'm glad I'm off work.  Something interesting happened last night, but I'll be keeping it to myself for the time being.  However, I will talk about something that has been on my mind as a result of this event.

For the longest time, I would analyze things over and over again, especially if it pertained to me.  This one instance caused me to start asking questions, when a voice in the back of my head spoke up.

Stop.  Just see where this leads.

It wasn't the authoritarian type of thinking that discourages questions, but rather an inner calming of myself as I realized that I should just see what happens in the near future.  Either way, I'll see what happens.

On the plus side, it looks like I've got that HP dv7 of mine sold this Thursday.  That will get a computer off of my hands that I haven't been using in a while (switchable graphics and systems using the Linux kernel don't quite mix very well, especially when I want to use the more powerful GPU).

If I do wind up getting another portable computer, I'll be aiming for AMD yet again.  If I replace my ZaReason Breeze 3110 with anything, it will probably be this one.  In other words, I'm thinking of going strictly AMD by getting rid of the one system I that's Intel (Atom that is).

But I digress.

I now fully realize and appreciate the fact that no matter what happens, I always come out of it in one piece.  So with that, I'll have a little bit more food and then I'm off to bed.  :)