Moving

It's been too long since I lasted posted here.  It turns out that I now have complete control over my own online identity.  After acquiring four top level domain names, I figured it would be prudent to move my personal blog to here.

Getting it Done.

I did some more exercising today.  I even walked around the block twice and then to the end of Laurel Street and back.  Other than that, the day has been simple.

I went to anime club and had a good time.  The Vice President keeps going above and beyond in terms of providing handouts and other things related to cosplaying and conventions in general.

That stuff is helpful for those who haven't done those things before.

I also returned a desktop tower to a friend.  The bad news is that the motherboard's more than likely shot.  The good news is that I have added one piece of equipment to a troubleshooting kit that I'm putting together.

It consists of a PCI video card.

While we're at it, I might as well also point to this article that I published today.  The goal is to have one published every Tuesday.  So that's a podcast each Monday and an article (from me at least) every Tuesday.

Hopefully, I can have some help to where the website has something up each and every day.

The more content is published, the more traffic a site gets.  I also understand that publishing too much content every day can lead to other problems, such as Facebook, Google+, and other feeds being flooded with updates and announcements.  That's the cool part about liking a page on Facebook or following a group on Google+.

One can learn from mistakes as well as good things that were done right.

I have a major goal tomorrow evening, and it involves walking to work.  I want to do that on a regular basis so that I can get in better shape.  As an added bonus, I won't spend nearly as much money on gas.

Finally, the weather is changing for the better, and so is my life.  Looks like Bruce was right.  30 is a good age.

Weekend's Over Wednesday: Short Work Week.

I only have to work two shifts this week before I go on vacation this Friday.  My dad plans on visiting, and I'm really excited about it.

After all, 30 is a milestone in one's life.

The funny thing is that I was going to treat it as just another day.  After all, it wasn't like I was a small child anymore.  When dad announced he may be visiting, I decided to go ahead and ask for some time off.

I'm eternally grateful it was approved.

The Exercise Front

On the good news front, I managed to work my way up to 50 reps with the dumb bell and two sets of 17 off the wall push ups.  Assuming the weather cooperates in the next couple of weeks, I'll be able to walk to work instead of burning gas.

Gas prices are shooting up, so saving money would be an added bonus.

The Website

Starting next week, more action is going to happen on the website as well.  Podcasting was the first step.  The next step is writing stuff on a regular basis.  The cool thing about the site system being used is that it allows for more activity to happen directly from the site itself.

Though third party services are nice, it doesn't necessarily contribute to overall site traffic.

Spiritual Front

I made it nearly halfway through the book of Genesis.  With each chapter, I write notes on my thoughts regarding the text and add any questions I may have to help me think a bit more.

Needless to say, I'll be spending my lunch breaks in a more productive manner over the coming months.

That's all for now.  I need to get something to eat and head to bed so I can be rested for tonight.  It seems I'm one of the few people who can shift from day to night mode in an almost seamless manner.

The important part is that one does it right, or they'll be tired when their nights off come to an end.  I'll elaborate more on that in a future post.

Until then, may the Ides of March pass you by in as painless a manner as humanly possible...... with green beer.... yeah.. green beer.

The Next Few Days

I'm keeping this short and to the point.  The next few days are going to be very important to me.  I have plenty that has to be done at the moment.  I have already finished one task and that's to ensure that I have clean pants for tonight, Wednesday night, and Thursday night.

Friday morning is when my vacation begins to celebrate my 30th birthday.

I'll try doing more laundry tomorrow morning in addition to some other maintenance related stuff at the apartment.  All of this preparation is for more than just my 30th birthday.

Turning 30 is quite a milestone, but there's something else that's going on here.  A phrase that started as a low hum in the deep crevices of my mind.  It's that very phrase that's began to get louder and louder as it moved to the forefront of my consciousness.

It's almost like I'm beginning to wake up from a long sleep of sorts.

Those two words are so important.  It signifies a moment in life that involves a change for the better.  Simply put....

It's time.

Only a Matter of Days

This will be short and sweet seeing as how I need to be at work in less than an hour.

I feel myself getting stronger with each passing day.  The exercise routine appears to be working.  This Wednesday, I'll be up to 50 reps with the dumb bell, and two sets of 17 off the wall push ups.

Since the snow should be going away for the most part, I may get my wish of walking to work soon.  Once I can walk on a more regular basis, I'll lose even more of that jiggly stuff that likes to hang off of me at the moment.

This puffed marshmallow is shrinking and shrinking so to speak.  ;)

For the last couple of nights, work has flown by really fast.  Part of it was due to it being busy.  The other part is due to my birthday coming up in a matter of days.  My time as a 20 something is coming to a close.

On March 9, 2013, I will be 30 years old.

My dad plans on coming up to visit, and he plans on bringing something big with him (big enough that it requires a truck).  That day is going to be a landmark for me.

It's a sign of things to come, for everything is going to start falling into place.

I took another break from Vimeo, but that's ok.  I needed the sleep, and I got plenty of it.  While sleeping, I had some of this playing in the background.  That particular site has changed in the last few years, and it's looking pretty good.

I've also been doing some more spiritual research on my part.

In other words, I'm working on body, mind, and spirit.  :)

For now, I shall go shower and get ready for work.  After tonight, I'll have to do a small load of laundry (and more spiritual research while clothes are washing and drying).

Flurries of What's to Come.

I woke up earlier than I normally did last night.  Then again, when one has to empty their bladder, it's a good idea not to ignore its pleading for relief.  Since I was up early enough, I was able to have a warm meal before going to work.

Turns out, I needed it.

I brought my computer with me to work on a project while at lunch.  I made some progress, but there's much more work to be done.  I also need to do some more stuff on the website.

Anyway, I hung out with my friend Jason at Country Kitchen after work.  It had been a while since he and I had any extended conversation.  He's the type of person who is able and willing to just listen to other people and offer a unique perspective afterwords.

I then gave him a ride home, grabbed some money out of my account, and paid some bills.  Rent and car insurance is now taken care of.

I looked around in a couple of computer stores and found a PCI video card to add to my computer troubleshooting kit.  I may have to visit Cheap Computer Tech more often.  This means I can finally see if I can get a functioning display on a desktop that I'm working on for a friend's grandmother.

If I can, I will at least back up all the pertinent data that I can.

At that point, they may be able to just replace the video card and give that machine a few more years of life.

To end my day, I made a quick run to Bi-Lo.

I'm taking a day off from doing a Vimeo vlog, so..... until next time....

Just be who you want to be and not what everyone else wants you to be.  ;)

The Blizzard Part Deux

I haven't opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony due to snow for the past several days.  As can be seen in the above picture, plenty of snow came last night.

It's a hell of a way to end my days of being a 20 something.

Hey look.  It's my car!  God apparently thought it was a meatball, so some Parmesan was added to it.

I remember the snow from 2011.  It was referred to as the Snowpacalypse.  Plenty of people had something to say about that event.  Some universities were apparently not aware of how people could actually be injured in hazardous weather.  I remember in 2007 how somebody actually fell and hurt themselves during the winter storm, because UCM did not have the foresight at the time to understand that people can in fact get hurt and possibly die.

In 2011, they had wised up and canceled classes for the safety of the students.

For some more fun, take a look at this video from the point of view of an ambulance driver.

...and the road has disappeared.  Thank God there is no yellow snow.

Unlike 2011, only a portion of the country is getting hit with this little blizzard.  After Colorado has suffered nature's wrath, Missouri's turn came up next.  I live in Warrensburg, and guess what?

Warrensburg was a part of the storm's bullseye.

The street is covered once again.  I'm glad I made a wise parking decision.

Last week, I called in Thursday, because it would not have been wise for me to deal with hills, snow, and ice at the same time while going to work at night.  I shoveled snow away from my car so I could move it to a better spot the next morning, and the rest of the week went off without a hitch.

At least I'm off tonight, so I'll hopefully be able to safely get to work tomorrow night.

My friend Jason lives around the corner from me (left turn).

The cool thing is that it is still snowing outside as I'm writing this.  Hopefully it will have slowed down enough Wednesday to where I can travel safely to work.  If I can't, I'll have to see who has four wheel drive and is willing to give myself and others a ride.  Otherwise, it will involve calling in to work again.

That is an option I don't wish to exercise again.

Then again, we might be able to make things up with some overtime.  After all, when the storm clears, we're going to have tons and tons of freight to put away.

For now, I shall watch the spectacle outside with amusement.

Closing the Door

This entry isn't like the other entries before it.  Though it contains language that some may not find favorable, it illustrates the situation in a manner that I view as appropriate.  Before I begin, I want to update everyone as to what's been going on in my life for the past few days or so.

The exercise routine has been progressing.  Tomorrow, I'll be up to 40 repetitions with the 10 lbs dumb bell and 30 push ups off the wall.  The slow climb continues.

I also did something that some may find quite shocking.  Instead of blowing most of my tax return on a material item, I used it to pay off an old credit card.  The goal is to pay off two more accounts this year.

Today, I plan on starting a podcast for the website I've been working on.  I'll have to buy some extra equipment, but it shouldn't be too expensive.

In short, we live in interesting times, and what's done now will determine what options are available later on in life.  I have my plans, and I want to see them come to fruitiion.

Last week, I ran into an old acquaintance on UCM's campus.  The gentleman in question is a kind soul who has been a student since the beginning of my college years.  I apparently had been very helpful to him just by being there and listening to him talk.

Sometimes that's all that's needed when one's going through a rough point in their life.

One of the interesting things he told me was how he wouldn't want to be 18 again.  The law doesn't like most people that age, for they tend to get in a lot trouble.  He also viewed the 20's as a waste of time and indicated that 30 is a good age to be.

According to him, at 30, things begin to fall into place.

For the past several weeks, certain things have been occurring to confirm a decision that I had already reached.  In some instances, it was a simple conversation.  In others, it involved memories of the past.  The information from all of it intertwined into a form of understanding.

They are revelations. Those moments of clarity in which things that weren't initially obvious. In other words, the obscure becomes mainstream in the mind.

I had an epiphany in the recent weeks.

It was that shining moment in which I realized that an early life event was the root of one of my biggest troubles. As they say, you won’t know where you’re going unless you know where you’ve been. Part of that knowing is understanding why.

After all, what use is an epiphany if it's not acted upon?

This week, there won't be a Weekend's Over Wednesday post, because I'll be off until Friday night.

I'm taking a mini vacation this month, because I didn’t want to deal with Valentine's Day or the bullshit that goes along with it. I sent my dad a birthday card as the 14th was his day of birth, and I'll call him on that day wishing him a happy birthday.

Other than that, I won't be celebrating a holiday that's been so commercialized, that single people are left out in the cold. I’m making a stand here and now. The line in the sand has been drawn.

Not only am I done with the so called "dating scene," I intend to stay single for as long as possible. If I can get away with it, it will be for the rest of my life.

The only relationships I intend to have are family connections, friendships, and professional associations with others.

For those thinking that it’s sour grapes, save it. There’s a method to my so called madness. In March, I'll have been alive for 30 years. In all of those years, I have had one actual relationship that lasted for four months.

More on that in a moment.

When I Was in College

The year was 2009. I was working in retail during the days and evenings while going to school. After suffering a broken arm in 2007, I was a lost soul. As a result of my accident, I decided to change my major not once, but twice.

I met many interesting people while attending UCM, and one of them was a girl named Laurel. She was the one person who, even by my standards, looked like a dork when I first met her in one of my classes. Over time I had gotten to know her, and she and I would often carry on conversations before and after class.

I was only a part time cashier and I was still driving that 1993 Jeep. As Valentine’s Day was approaching, I began to get annoyed. Everywhere I looked, there would be some lovey dovey couple being oh so affectionate towards one another.

It was almost as if they were shoving it in everyone else’s collective face.

It really bothered me. The closer to the day, the more irked I became. When I clocked out the evening of Friday the 13th, I called her and asked one question.

“Would you like some chocolate?”

I was invited to see the newly released Friday the 13th in the theater with her friends. I accepted, and before the film started, I decided to have something to eat at Country Kitchen. I wasn’t about to watch a movie without having dinner.

Some may not have liked the newest Jason flick, but I enjoyed it.

The gift of chocolate was accepted, and I was promptly told that Warrensburg was going to issue a citation on my vehicle (it was a landfill on the inside). We said our goodbyes and I went back to my shithole of an apartment in Valley View.

Little did I know that things were about to get worse.

Fast forward to March 9th of that year. My day at work started off well enough. My mom visited me during one of my 15 minute breaks to give me a card. Shortly after that, things started going down the drain.

I still managed to treat myself to Country Kitchen during my lunch. It still wasn’t enough to stop the wave of negative emotions flowing through me. Towards the end of my shift, I was in tears.

I realized that in four years, I would be turning 30 years old, and that I was currently all alone. Up to that point, I had no relationship experience.

It was the most miserable birthday ever.

Fast forward to 2010 after still going through the issue of being lonely and desperate. I initially try to get myself out of this funk by being more physically active and eating better. Unfortunately, I was still in a dark and vulnerable position.

I then run into a group of people led by one who vicariously lived through other people.

The newfound friendship seemed amazing at first. My subconscious desperately tried to tell me that something wasn’t right with the person in question, yet I didn’t listen. He was younger than I was, yet he lectured me on how to live my life.

In the Spring semester of 2011, he mentions that I should meet somebody. He indicated that she was like me... “...lonely and desperate.” I would meet this person after the summer ended.

It turned out that as nice as she was, she was not very stable.

The once joyous connection I initially had disappeared in the middle of the semester. Still, I had bigger issues.  One of them involve one younger than me trying to mold me and define me.

In 2011, I finally made my decision to begin severing ties to this person. Trying to act as a father in his early twenties to somebody who was approaching 30 was insulting. It’s even more damaging when they say that you’re not the best writer out there, despite the fact that they’re talking to somebody who had received a creative writing award in elementary school, had a poem published as a young author, and was published on linux.com (before it was purchased by the Linux Foundation) and Muktware.

I don’t like being defined by others, let alone controlled.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was yet to come. I was resigned to the fact that I would be staying in Valley View that summer until I smelled something horrible as I went through the front door. No matter the cause, it was the catalyst to finding a new place to live.

For some reason, I found the place I wanted to live in and succeeded in getting it on the first attempt. The irony of it all is that the street’s name is Laurel.

This incredible miracle was followed up by the fact that I had help from my friends and family. A dear friend of mine even got an entertainment center out of the whole deal. Then came that moment where I decided that I’d had enough of the person in question.

I was on the verge of moving some of my belongings from my old place in Valley View to the new place on Laurel Street when he called.

He pitched a project idea to me about a book. It entailed a few guys sitting at a bar talking about the shit that women in their lives put them through. He even told me that I could include things about the same girl he introduced me to.

He also wanted to “inspect” the new living quarters.

OH!  HELL!  NO!

I text him the next morning declining participation in his project and also informing him that I needed a chance to settle into the new place first. With some help, I also came to realize that I allowed myself to be somebody else’s pawn.

Thankfully, I’ve been able to repair a couple of broken bridges. That’s the price of allowing myself to be manipulated by another.

The individual who lived through other people is no longer in my life. On Facebook, he is now blocked as is his core group of friends. It’s one thing to block people, but it’s another matter when you discover you’ve been blocked.

When I discovered this, I looked deep inside myself and came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter. When a person blocks another on Facebook or uses a similar feature on another website, they are saying that they do not wish to associate with another individual that they may deem problematic.

Believe it or not, I’m fine with that.

After all, it too acted as a catalyst for another decision that’s already been made. The closing of the proverbial door as indicated earlier. Before writing this, I only told a few people of this decision. There were some dissenting voices; one of them argued that I would only be hurting myself by following through.

I disagree, and I'm going to tell you why.

The Epiphany

Looking back on my entire life so far, I can finally understand why I felt the way I did when I turned 26. Subtract 20 from that age, and a crucial moment of my early years is revealed.

I almost died. Twice.

My digestive system clogged up. I got to know first hand what a backed up toilet felt like. I was literally drowning on the inside.

Fortunately for me, Children’s Mercy Hospital is the reason I’m still alive today. When I was admitted, so was my mom. She was there for me for the entire first duration when they inserted a tube through my nose and down my throat to drain my system of the junk that had been trapped inside.

She was also there when a tube was installed in my chest to aid in the draining of additional fluid. She was the one who took me back to the hospital when the tube itself became infected.

When that tube had to be removed, there was no time to put me under.

I apparently yelled every expletive in the book. Hours later, one of the nurses wanted to know if I was still mad at her. I almost lost my life twice, and mom was there to see to it that I survived.

The misery of my 26th birthday turned out to be a reflection of a portion of my childhood.

I realized at that point that I would be 30 soon enough. Even with mom’s resilience, there will be a day in which she is no longer on this planet. Whenever I had an issue with something, I would be able to talk to her.

The reality is that she won't be there forever.

This isn’t to say that my relationship with dad isn’t worthwhile. He too has been somebody I could turn to when I needed somebody to talk to and he's also helped out with some other major things in my life. Though he wasn’t always able to make it to the hospital when I was sick, I can't blame him.

He had a job to do and bills of his own that had to be paid. He visited whenever he could.

The simple fact of the matter is that I’ve been more connected to mom due to the fact that I’ve lived with her most of my entire life. She was the one that was near my hospital bed. It is what it is.

When the time comes for her passing, the impact will be tremendous. When the same occurs to dad, I will be devastated. Even when divorced, they still saw to it in their own way that my sister and I would do the right thing whenever possible.

Other than my sister, who will probably be further away from me sometime in the future (she’s married and has a life she’s quite fond of), there is no one else except friends.  When both parents are gone, that leaves nobody else, except perhaps friends.

That's what made me break down on my 26th birthday.  Now that I recognize that, I also understand something else.  I'm now doing better than I have been in a long time.

Not only am I actually taking better care of myself, I'm also getting that spark of inspiration back.  The problem with having a significant other in my life at the moment is that I'll become way too complacent. 

That isn’t to say I don’t know what it’s like.

The Relationship

I had a girlfriend in 2012. That relationship lasted four months and ended the moment I realized that she really, really wants to have kids, and I really, really don’t. She’s now dating somebody who is a much better match than I ever could have been.

When I cringed at a little kid crying at a high school reunion, she told me, “You better get used to it, ‘cuz if we’re together long enough and we get married, we’re having kids!” I felt myself shut down on the inside.

I don’t like being controlled by others, even if the other person means well.

I also couldn't deny the dream that she had since she was a child.  She wants a family of her own.  I wasn't the right person for her, especially since I became complacent.

After the relationship was under way, I stopped exercising.  Other ambitions of mine were going out the window.  Now I understand the whole point of WWE Superstar CM Punk saying to his group, The Straight Edge Society, that they should never be satisfied.

Beyond being a promo for a pro wrestling faction, the overall lesson to be learned is that when one is satisfied, they stop improving themselves and getting better.  Complacency has a price that is too steep for me at the moment.

Closing one Door, Opening Another

One of the defining moments of my early childhood was death. In a sense, one isn’t truly living if they don’t follow their dreams. I’m guessing that’s part of the reason mom told me to never settle.

I asked myself a difficult question a long time ago. It was initially a tough call, but sometimes the best ones aren’t simple. I basically asked myself, assuming that I couldn’t have both, if I wanted someone in my life or if I wanted to leave my mark on the world.

I’m choosing the latter.

For those arguing that I’m hurting myself by closing that door and barricading it, I’ll let you in on a secret. Whenever I attempted, no matter how intense or how meager, to pursue anybody, the one I would wind up hurting the most would be myself.

I disrespected the young college student’s decision to finish school before dating. Fortunately, they still talk to me on occasion. I’ve also made others uncomfortable when I never intended to do so.

Truth be told, I wasn’t really looking for a soulmate. I was looking for somebody who I could go to with my problems and have nothing but comfort when the chips were down; somebody who could be there just like my mom was.

That wasn’t right at all.

As selfish as it sounds, the only way that someone will be let in is if they do the following:

1. They rip away the barricades and break down the damn door.
2. They have something of substance between their ears.
3. Whatever I do in life, they’re going to have to come along for the ride.

It’s selfish. I acknowledge it and refuse to apologize for it. I’ve had the feeling for a long time that my life’s been on pause. It’s been all about work and going home, work and going home, work and going home.

I’ve only now started to interact with more people on a regular basis again. I’ve changed my eating habits and have been exercising more. I’m trying to transform myself into something better.

This time, it’s for all the right reasons as opposed to simply distracting myself from what I couldn’t have before.

When I was in a relationship, I became complacent.  I stopped working on projects that I wanted to do. The life lessons in question have made me stronger, and might I add, a bit wiser.

My 30th birthday will be a joyous occasion, because by then, I’ll be even more financially sound than before. By then, I’ll be on my way to paying off two credit cards.  If I can keep up this pace, I'll be able to take care of those three accounts.

Who knows.  I might be able to do more than that.

I have a plan for my life now.  I'm closing this door, for that ends one chapter of my life.  The new chapter begins now as I open another door and begin walking through it.

Weekend's Over Wednesday: Mental Marination

Here's another picture of food to wet your appetite so to speak.

In Kissing Jessica Stein, one of the many great quotes from Jessica's girlfriend, Helen, was as follows:

"Don't decide right now, just let it marinate for a while."

 There's been quite a bit on my mind as of late, but before I get to that, I'd like to share what's been happening thus far this week.

Monday

I visited my friends Steve and Seffy on Monday.  Unfortunately, it was very cold outside (of course it warms up the next day too), so even I had a hard time not shivering at 18 degree weather.  I can take the cold, but I have my limits.

One of my new favorite places to eat now is the local Burger King in Warrensburg.  They have options on the menu that accommodate those who are on a low carb diet.  I had three double cheeseburgers without any condiments or a bun along with a side salad without dressing or grape tomatoes.

After hanging out with my friends, I had to go home, because I was having trouble falling asleep that Monday.  For whatever reason, I tend to want to stay awake when I'm off work for the next couple of nights.

Tuesday

I took my work clothes to the Washboard Laundry Mat so I could have clean clothes for the week.  While clothes were washing, I did some shopping and filled up my gas tank.  I returned, put clothes in the dryer, and then went to Muttly's Gun and Pawn to look around.

Pro tip: If you're looking for a cheap place to stock up on anime, a local pawn shop should be on your list of stops to make.

Last night, I checked in on the anime club.  There were some friends that I haven't seen in a while and I wanted to check in on them to see how they were doing.  We had a wonderful time and it was good meeting one of the new officers.

Nate's a pretty cool guy and I think he will make an excellent treasurer.

The cool thing is that the group has been communicating with other anime clubs as well.  This is something that I wanted to see happen, but things happened when I was still in college that prevented that endeavor from being successful.  The organization is in excellent hands.

After the club meeting and hanging out in general, I did a little bit more shopping in the early hours of this morning before going home and falling asleep.

That brings me to this morning.

I have successfully upped my repetitions by two.  That's 33 with the dumbbell and 23 push ups off the wall.  A week from this Saturday, I shall increase everything by three.  The pattern will continue until I can do 100 reps with the dumbbell.

The weight will increase and I'll work my way up to 50 with the higher weight before increasing the weight one more time.  The goal is eventually use all three weights in the entire routine.

From there, I'll eventually increase the number of sets by one for even more muscle building.  Speaking of transitions....

Mental Marination

Like my exercise routine, I'm treading carefully in terms of getting something off my chest.  I won't go into it today, because it's prudent to actually brainstorm the ideas that are floating in my mind and organize them into something coherent.

I'll still work on the website.  After all, I have yet to write the first article (hint: it will mention Piers Morgan).  I'll even do a test podcast.  I have the know how to record and edit audio.  I just need to do the rest, and that plugin for e107 just might do the trick.

In other words, I'll be taking a brief break from personal blogging until sometime in February.  When I return, I'll have something important to say.

• Some may like it.
• Others may not.
• Others may honestly not care.

That's the nature of the Internet.

There's some things that I discovered about myself that explain some things that have happened to me over the last couple of years.  It was quite an epiphany that will be channeled to make myself better than I was before.

Those who are curious will get one hint.  In life it is important to have that great adventure which the individual explores the self as well as their surroundings before everything else occurs.

Allow that to marinate in your mind for a while, and I'll see all of you in February.

Mission Complete!

Yesterday, I said I was excited about the opportunity to get ahead on a few things.  I suppose I have done just that.  The only thing left to do for the time being is to get my oil changed (might do that in the morning) and the gas tank filled up.

The good news is that I'll still have money left over, a good feeling to have.  Things seem to be going right so far in 2013.

There's been a slight change in technological terms at the living quarters.  I recently went to my ISP's new pricing.  Granted, I have to use their modem from here on out, but there's no rental fee anymore.  An added bonus is that it's a DOCSIS 3, which should improve performance.

The utilities are taken care of, and I managed to stock up on a few more food items (low carb of course).  Speaking of food, I've somewhat changed my strategy a bit.  I'll eat the veggies that are low carb as part of the last meal of the day.  That way, I don't have to worry about refrigeration as soon as I get to work.

Thank goodness for canned meat is all I have to say.

Speaking of healthy living, I got a bit of extra exercise today as I moved some carts out of the parking lot towards the end of my shift.  I still took to the dumb bell and off the wall pushups when I arrived home.  Next Wednesday, I'll add two repetitions to what I'm already doing.

According to my calculations, by keeping up with the pattern for increasing reps, I'll be doing 50 of them with the dumb bell by March.

Once I hit 100 reps with the dumb bell, I plan on increasing the weight to 20 lbs.  At the higher weight, I'll start with 15 reps and work my way up to 50 using the same pattern described in previous posts.  The fun part will be when I increase the weight to 30 lbs.

At the highest weight I'd be willing to work with, the starting point would be five reps.  Working my way up to 25 would be what I refer to as quite a challenge.  If I can meet it, then another crucial step would be taken.

It would involve using all three weights in a sort of pyramid fashion.  I would start with 10 lbs at 100 reps, go to 20 lbs at 50 reps, then to 30 at 25, back to 20 at 50, and finish off with 10 at 100.

I'm guessing that won't happen until at least the end of this year.  More likely, 2014 would be the target time period.  Either way, I'm working my way towards improving myself on the physical level.

However, I also recognize that physical appearances never tell the entire story.

Tanya Slade wrote an article for my website about an individual named David Elmore Smith.  With help, he lost an extraordinary amount of weight.  The problem was that he put it back on due to internal issues as well as external issues.  Thankfully, he's trying to get back to the good point in which he was at.

In addition to taking care of himself physically, he's also sought psychiatric help as well.  Those interested in following this individual might want to check out his YouTube Channel.

I'm getting to know myself better during the whole process.  One of the things I'm going to reveal at the moment is a very important key to understanding who I am as an individual.

I may take my time when it comes to many things in life.  When I'm fed up enough with a particular situation, I'll do everything in my power to change it.  That's why I was able to find my current living quarters on the first try.

I was tired of living in a dump.

There will be more revelations as time goes on, especially regarding a couple of mini vacations that I'll be taking (one in February, and one in March).  I'll have something very important that I want to discuss when I arrive at my first one.

In the meantime, the dishwasher is in drying mode, so I better go turn the water off (it connects to a faucet).  After that, I'll definitely need to go to bed.  Have an awesome day, everyone.  :)

Weekend's Over Wednesday: Getting Ahead for Once

Though I go back to work tonight, I'm excited.  Yes, I'll have to endure eight hours on the clock of a large retail business.  However, I'll have been paid by the time I clock out at 7 AM CST.  This is no ordinary payday.

It's a chance to get ahead on a few things.

Normally, I use one payday to cover rent and a couple of important things at or near the end of the month while using the other to cover utilities and other expenses.  This month, I'm getting paid three times because of how the calendar works out.

In order to move into the place I currently reside in, I had to make some sacrifices and borrow some money to take care of expenses from moving out of the old place.  When it comes to debt, it's easy to get in, but it's hard to get out.

Thanks to some maneuvering of my own at the end of 2012, I was able to position myself to actually get ahead on a few other consumer debts that I have.  One of them will be a credit card that I had when I was in college.

It's long since expired, and I did not even bother asking for a new one.

The cool part about an expired card is that it's easier to pay off since it can't be used for purchases.  The income tax refund I get this year will solely be used to pay it off the rest of the way.  Any remainder will be applied towards other consumer debt.

If I play my cards right, I'll hopefully pay off at least three of my consumer debts this year.  If I'm really fortunate, I might pay off even more.

How I'm Reducing Expenses

I don't eat out anymore.  After all, that would wreck the eating habits that I'm trying so hard to adapt to (low carb).  That alone has allowed me to save money for other things such as paying for utilities and other expenses.  I bring my own lunch to work and all I drink is water.

I also don't drive or do more laundry than is necessary at the moment.  I had enough money to do a little bit more laundry this week.  Next week, I might take the opportunity to do even more.

Doing What Needs to Be Done

I will need to get an oil change on my car soon.  I'm definitely going to use this payday as an opportunity to get the oil that I prefer.  I may also begin budgeting for obtaining parts for a tune-up.  I know I had a parts store print out a list of items I'll need in order to get that done.  If I can't find it, I'll have to go back and ask again.

Unfortunately, cleaning up the living quarters didn't happen like planned.  I'll see what I can do in the next couple of days.  I visited a couple of friends yesterday, and the friends I was planning to visit will happen this coming Monday instead (four day weekend for them because of the next holiday).

The Slow Climb Begins.

We progressed through our routine tasks at work faster than anticipated.  I even ran celebration merchandise before lunch.  After lunch, I moved some ice from one machine that makes it to another that doesn't.  One of the added tasks involved pulling impulse merchandise off the shelf so each shelf could be cleaned.

Needless to say, we'll have plenty to do Monday morning.

When I got out of work, I noticed the following on the ground:

I took the photo in my car from my Galaxy S2.  What little snow fell on the ground had frozen.  Not only did I take my sweet time getting to my car, I chose not to rush out of the parking lot as well.

I suffered one broken limb a few years ago.  I don't intend to have anymore for the rest of my life.

Exercise Upgrade Complete

I added a measly one repetition to my workout routine.  That's 31 with the 10 lbs dumb bell for the biceps and triceps.  For pushups off the wall, 21.  A week from this Wednesday, I'll be adding two more.

If I've learned anything in life, it's that one shouldn't hurry too much.

So I'm making my way up that hill slowly but surely.  I'm no Hare, Road Runner, or Sonic the Hedgehog, but I'll get there all the same.  All in due time.

Return of a Weekly Ritual

Tonight's my Friday.  I have Monday and Tuesday nights off.  For quite some time, I wouldn't have much to do on either day unless it was the third Tuesday of the month.  I might have a reason to be really excited for the weekend this time.

The campus anime club has moved their meetings to Tuesday nights.  So I might be visiting campus once a week.  When the weather becomes consistently nice, I'll definitely be walking.

The extra exercise couldn't hurt, and it would be awesome to see the group again.  Plus, I'm wanting to get back into anime.  :)

Pondering a Few Other Things

It's occurred to me that if move my main desktop into my bedroom, there would be more space in the living room.  A TV could be set up for video games and movies.  From there, other strategic rearrangement could take place in order to eventually acquire a couch that's in good condition (preferably for free).

Who knows, that table could even be replaced with a coffee table after that large old school TV goes bye bye.

Such a rearrangement would take place slowly but surely.  In other words, one piece at a time.  Shifting gears a bit, I looked at my paystub online.  Needless to say, I'm glad New Year's Day qualifies as a holiday where I work.

Extra money always helps.

I'm going to be more prudent with this week's pay.  After all, there's an opportunity to catch up on a couple of things.  I also plan on working on my website some more.  Perhaps a test podcast can be recorded so I can make sure the podcasting plugin is working properly.  Now that would be cool.  :)

I better get this posted, so I can go to bed soon.  I plan on hanging out with a couple of friends.  It's been too long since I've done that.

(...and I have laundry and some more cleanup at home to do.....)

I have a good feeling about this week.  :)

Nothing Much to Say.

I've been at a loss for words at times.  That's part of the reason why I have trouble writing something each and every day.  I spend all that time thinking and when I feel I want to say something or that I should say something, nothing comes out.

It goes beyond writer's blocks.  After all, it could be a Facebook or Google+ status update that I'm trying to do and my mind draws a blank.  It's like all the pieces of information haven't been gathered together and organized appropriately in order to pull off something magnificent.

Except I'm not trying to write a novel.  I just want to do a blog entry.

I really don't have much to say today.  Work was work as usual.  I had a late start, so I couldn't pack my normal veggies for lunch.  I was still able to enjoy what food I did have though.

Speaking of food, I bought a bag of sweet peppers and some cut up portabella mushrooms (among more of the usual low carb stuff).  My change in eating habits has been having an effect on me.  I've had to adjust my belt to be slightly tighter as of late.

I might be able to speed the process up if I manage to increase the use of the 10 pound dumb bell this Sunday.  Right now, I'm working the biceps and triceps at 30 reps.  The plan is to up it to 31.  After five days of doing that (not straight.... I leave a day in between), I'll up it to 33.

Once I hit 50 and can do that consistently, I'll double the weight.

I've also been 20 pushups off the wall.  This Sunday, I'll do 21.  A week from this Wednesday, I'll do 23.

The pattern for upping reps will occur every sixth day.  So on the sixth day, I'll up it by one.  On the twelfth day, I'll up it by two.  On the eighteenth day, by three.  On the 24th day, by four.

For the dumb bell, I'll increase the weight when I can consistently do 50 reps without feeling too much strain.  As for off the wall pushups, I'll simply keep doing them.  I eventually want to be able to do the pyramid style; this is where I would start at ten pounds with a high number of reps, go to 20 lbs at half the reps, 30 lbs at half the reps of 20 lbs, go back to 20 lbs, then back to ten.

When I did that oh so long ago, my muscles could feel it.  It was well worth it.  Now that I'm back on the train, I'll work my way back to that point.  When warmer weather (that's consistent) arrives, I'll be doing more walking as well.

What do you know?  I really didn't have much to say, now did I?

Catching Up From Yesterday

I did quite a bit of relaxing yesterday after a long week of work.  I'm sure everybody's been through the same experience as I just went through.  That's why I skipped posting yesterday.

To make up for it, I'll try posting two entries today.

It seems like my so called "weekends" are just wasted anymore.  There have been some exceptions as of late, and for that I am thankful.  It seems that I spend more time during my nights off recovering from the previous week of work.

Perhaps I was in "Friday Mode" when I went in Sunday night.  Or perhaps something else was going on.  That something else that's hard to explain.  I'm certain others have gone through this at least once in their life.

I just kept getting irritated and frustrated.

I'm fully aware that December is really busy.  I still thought I could achieve what I wanted to in order to feel accomplished.  That meant cleaning what needed to be cleaned as quickly as possible while everything else that was assigned was finished.

The impulse merchandise was put away, but the red totes had to be sorted through.  These red totes come in and contains merchandise from various departments, including candy for the cash registers.

It seemed like I kept getting interrupted by customers.  I just wanted to make it through the shift.  After my final break, I was pulled from the front end to zone frozen.

Oh.  Joy.

At least I wasn't abandoned this time.  More good news came from HR as there was a time clock issue (it kept claiming that I was missing a clock out time from Saturday morning) that they were able to help me fix.  If punches aren't fixed in a very particular manner, an error is still shown on the time clock when a punch is made.

Still, I was quite frustrated with life in general at that particular moment.  I just wanted to clock out and start my 48 hours of freedom.  I did manage to give a couple of friends a ride away from work, and that made all the difference.

Oh, and I wished my sister a happy birthday and talked with Robert Bird, a friend of mine who is also a fellow associate from another store.  I relaxed by having some food and some "stress tonics."  Soon after that, I fell asleep.

At this moment, I'm washing dishes in the dishwasher and am about to get a shower.  From there, I'll figure it out.  Have a wonderful day, everyone.  :)

Sunday Sendoff: Hot Pocket Kinda Day

Work was draining, yet enjoyable. I dealt with a tax exempt transaction that was over $700 USD. 'tis the season for charitable giving.

Lots of clothing and some good items were included in the transaction. It does my heart good knowing that people are willing to go out of their way to help other people who are down on their luck. It sort of reminds me of a few years ago a kind gentleman paid for another customer's merchandise when they weren't able to.

After lunch, I ran some candy and celebration freight. When I put everything away, I went on my final 15 minute break. I helped zone features and end caps after it was over.

When I clocked out, I was craving Hot Pockets, so I bought some. Now I am eating them and relaxing before I go to bed. :)

Not Cooking Today

It was a long night at work. Needless to say, I am not preparing any good for myself. I went to Wendy's and ordered some cheesy cheddar burgers at 7:30 in the morning.

Other burger places serve breakfast only until about 10 or 11:00 AM. That is why I a fan of Wendy's.

Friday Quicky

As I am about to fall asleep, I want to take a moment to say how grateful I am for what I have. I have been quite content with my life as of late. No matter what happens or continues to happen I will always get through it. This must be why I am truly happy to be where I am at.

Now that I have a mobile device and a data plan that seems to be satisfactory, I will aim to replace my ZaReason Breeze 3110 with another AND based system. For now, I shall simply go to sleep.

A Present To Me

Well, I did it. I bought the Samsung Galaxy S2. I now have a phone with enough power to do what I want to do. The old SIM card is in the new phone and.everything is up and running.

I also paid some bills today. The good news is that my car insurance is taken care of for the remainder of the year. That will leave an extra $60 or more in my pocket each month (until February of next year).

So now I shall keep this post brief and go to bed. I am getting sleepy. :)

Weekend's Over Wednesday: Mmmm, Pizza!

While the weekend is technically over for me, I still feel excited.  That's because I'll be selling somebody a computer that I don't use anymore.  In turn, I'll be able to purchase the Samsung Galaxy S2.

Exciting times indeed.

Monday was no less exciting though.  I got to spend time with good company and excellent food.

Home made pizza.  :)

Dinner involved a variety of home made, home baked pizzas.  Of course, they weren't the traditional round pies, but they were still delicious.  There was bacon cheeseburger, pepperoni and pineapple, and even desert pizza.  My friend De Lena has a wonderful philosophy when it comes to cooking.

1. Use real butter.
2. When in doubt, add more butter.

The meats were turkey based too, so I had no issues with eating at least one of each variety (I don't eat pork).  The company was fantastic as well.  We shared jokes and had a grand time conversing with one another.

Cora and De Lena (De Lena's the one wearing the jacket)

 I stayed there until the early hours of Tuesday morning.  I slept for a bit, then I woke up.  After spending some time in the apartment, I decided to do some laundry and have some McDonalds (yeah I know... bad for me, but it tastes sooooooooooooooooo goooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddd!).

When all was said and done, I gathered my clean clothes and came home.  The rest of the night was spent blogging about controversy that was generated by a Facebook post.  Hopefully yesterday's post will add more balance to the dialogue at hand regarding fandom of any sort.  Only time will tell.

For now, I'm wanting to relax for a little bit, and eventually go back to bed since I have to work tonight.

A Rebelious Put-Off.

I skipped posting yesterday, because I was hanging out with a few good friends for dinner.  I had a wonderful time and got to meet a couple of cool people.  I'll talk more about that another day.

What I would like to discuss today is something that I've seen over and over again.  It's a mixture of rebels being put off by success in conjunction with infighting and accusations of one of the varying forms of bigotry.

Unfortunately, this horrible concoction has found its way into the nerd and geek realms.

Before I begin, it should be noted that context is very important in fully understanding a situation.  Emotions flew all over the place regarding a personal Facebook post on the part of Tony Harris, who has been a part of the comic book industry for over 20 years.  Here it is:

Click the image for a larger version on The Daily What.

The published screenshot created controversy, and one of the most well known video responses is as follows:

Of course, there are other responses as well.  The one thing that many of these responses had in common was the accusations of sexism and how one shouldn't deem a female to not be a real geek and/or nerd.

I couldn't agree more.

However, what happened was that emotions overwhelmed the part of the mind that is thoughtful and reasonable.  It happens to each and every one of us when it comes to a subject that touches are hearts.  After all, we're human and prone to this sort of thing.

What I am about to do is to ask you, the reader, to do something that could be potentially challenging (or even difficult) depending on your individual situation.

After reading the entire quote from the screen-cap posted at the beginning and watching the entire video, I would like for you to take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and set your emotions aside for a moment.

It's time to start thinking.

While it is most understandable that women throughout history have been discriminated against, manipulated, and abused, there are times when certain actions are misconstrued as being such when the intent of those actions are entirely different.

Let's begin by asking the question; What was the intent of Tony Harris, a veteran of the comic book industry when he ranted on his own personal Facebook?  Was he hanging up a "no girls allowed" sign, or was he speaking out against something else entirely?

Let's go through what he wrote, shall we?

He opines that he's going to say something without caring what everyone else thinks.  It's his opinion after all, and as individuals, we are all entitled to ours.  He goes on to say that there are some women who cosplay at conventions who are actually into the comic books that the characters come from in the first place.

In other words, he doesn't have an issue with them.  What he writes next is what gets him in some hot water.  He goes on to say that there are too many women who dress up as some of the most popular characters without having ever read the comic books themselves, let alone know anything about them.

I can see where he would be called sexist on that.  However, middle of his rant, he does note that it was based on what has happened around him at his booth at various conventions.

To be fair, there has been various shenanigans that have occurred at various conventions, whether it be of the pro-wrestling, science fiction, comic book, or anime type.  There are going to be things that are irritating, no matter what.

I would know as I have experienced it once when I was dressed up as the Millenium Earl at Naka-Kon one year.  I was essentially criticized for wearing a mostly pre-made costume instead of putting it together myself.  Personally, I didn't care.  Elitists are everywhere, and there's nothing that can be done about that.

The problem is that someone speaking out against something that annoys them is often confused with being elitist.  In a manner similar to night shift workers at a retail outlet not feeling appreciated when members of management and people from the day are covered in a magazine while they're left out, Harris argues that without the comic book artists and writers, the books themselves would not exist in the first place, there would be no following, and no conventions to speak of.

So again, is he really sexist or is something else going on?

It is often said that a rebel is often put off by their own success.  After all, becoming mainstream would mean that they are no longer a rebel, hence their cause is now obsolete.  The only option left is to either find a new cause or become irrelevant.

So let's revisit the question.  Was he being sexist?  Does he hate women cosplayers?  Does he hate cosplayers at all?

Well, no, as B. Clay Moore on Twitter points out.  For further consideration, here are a couple of comments from the Comics Beat website:

The first comment has some offending parts, such as not being a nerd if one is now just enjoying something.  To be honest, I have collected some comic books, but I don't do so anymore.  I have a couple, but that's about it.  For that reason, I don't refer to myself as a comic book nerd.

My interests are in computers and the software that's on their hard drives.  I know full well that the Captain America movie did not follow the comic book series as much as some would have liked.  That didn't stop me from enjoying it.  The same thing with the Amazing Spiderman movie.

And therein lies the problem.

More and more people know about Captain America, Spiderman, and other comic book characters because of the movies that have been in theaters.  I'm fairly confident in saying that a significant portion of the audience of said films more than likely did not read any of the comic books beforehand.

In a sense, Hollywood has made the characters from those books very popular, yet in a sense watered down to the point where most people will never hear of a Tony Harris, J. Michael Straczynski, or John Romita Jr, because they never read the comic books in the first place.  That doesn't mean those who enjoyed the movies are bad for only watching the movies.

It simply means they aren't comic book geeks or nerds, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  It appears to me that what Harris was speaking out against was a form of mindless group think.  If something looks cool, hip, and "in," there are those who will make themselves appear to be a part of that something, even if that isn't who they are.

It's known as being a pretender, and sadly, they exist no matter the genre.  Those who pretend to be something they are not are often not comfortable with who they really are.  To be fair, there is no way to tell what the thoughts of every single cosplayer out there happens to be.  Only the cosplayer knows.

And to continue to add balance to this discussion, there are those who just think the costume of a character is really cool, so they dress up as that character.  Nothing more, nothing less.  There's nothing wrong with that.  However, I can see how it can be irritating when cameras from corporate controlled media are surrounding that person instead of the writers and artists behind the comic book series in which the character came from.

In other words, the creation of fiction has been taken for granted, and much to the chagrin of some, it is important to recognize that those who created the characters, drew the characters, and wrote stories surrounding the characters are individuals with feelings too.

Notice how I didn't refer to male or female in the last few sentences.  I said individual.  Before I explain why I did so, here is what Joe The Peacock had to say on the matter at hand:

"Tony has spent his nearly 25 years in comics innovating and creating some incredible properties, characters, art and culture. One major aspect of Tony's art: he's one of the very few male artists in mainstream (superhero) comics who has ever outright refused to draw idealized / fetishized / objectified women in his work."

 Seeing as how Tony is a friend of Joe's, it's a safe bet that he knows him well enough to be able to make such a statement at all.  What did the individual in the video accuse Harris of doing?  Objectifying women.  Also consider the following:

"Have you ever vented in the spur of the moment, something you wish you'd taken some time to really think out? Have you ever used Facebook as a catharsis for a burst of emotion? Have you ever felt your logical side peek out and say "Hey now, you know that's not what you really feel..." only to have your emotional side say "YEAH BUT IT FELT REALLY GOOD TO SAY!"

Ever regretted it? Not that you felt it or how you think, but how you said it?

Maybe consider that when you realize that this is what happened here, but instead of a bunch of comments and unfriending, the guy was put on an international stage across tons of blogs and Tumblr pages and news feeds and Twitter and cannot possibly respond to the volume of feedback (which has, as it did with me, coalesced into a tide of "You're EVIL!") much less reflect, explain or, if he wanted to, apologize?"

 No matter what, words are going to get taken out of context.  Emotions that aren't kept in check play a role in that.  Trolls will appear in order to stir the pot.  That's what trolls do.  The cycle keeps going until the latest thing happens that either gets the masses enthusiastic, angry, or both.

To imply that those who say the things that Harris said are no better than the bullies slamming kids into lockers.  As someone who has been bullied in school growing up, I find such a notion insulting.  Harris has essentially been accused of committing a thought crime.

Did Harris generalize?  Yes.  Is he the only individual who has done so?  No.  There is a reason why in various forms of the New Testament, the phrase, "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone." exists (male oriented, but it's a male oriented religious text we're talking about).  It's the same reason that the theme of the pot calling the kettle black exists.  In other words, to a degree, we are all hypocrites.

Perhaps before pointing fingers at somebody else, we should all, as individuals, look at ourselves in the mirror and ask, "How can I be better today than I was yesterday?"  Nobody is perfect.  We are all human.

Too much political correctness is often the death knell of any given community.  Harris was not speaking about all women who dressed up in costumes, but about a few he has encountered.  While he doesn't speak for an entire community, neither does the individual in the video nor any other blogger who has spoken and will continue to speak on the matter at hand.

In my opinion, it was not about "protecting something from others," but about pointing out how something has become watered down because less and less people are reading the comic books, reading up on the history of the characters and series, and appreciating who brought the product into existence in the first place.

To drive the point home, both males and females are responsible for the wonderful comics that have existed over the years.

To sum up, I share the same views as the kid in one of the Mighty Ducks movies who didn't care about politics between schools and simply wanted to play hockey.  I just want to enjoy the occasional comic book (I do plan on getting some more of them at some point, even if it's only digital), watch the occasional movie, play some video games, play on the computer and the Internet.

I just want to have fun and enjoy my life.  With that, my opinion has been shared.  You the reader are free to do the same.