Outside of family, friends are an important influence in one's life. After all, how else are cool things such as Dr. Who and TNA Wrestling discovered other than stumbling upon them by accident? Friends can show you things you've never even heard of. They can also be a part of that extended family that cheers you on when you triumph and lends a sympathetic ear when you're not at your best.
In order to fully understand this blog post, you may want to read
this one and
this one. Long story short, I was in a relationship with a wonderful lady for four months. She wants to eventually settle down, get married, and start a family. Since being a parent is not what I envisioned my future to be, I had to break it off. Soon after, I made the one mistake that I'll hopefully never repeat.
I went back onto a couple of popular free dating sites to see if I could find that special someone. I came up short. I finally realized that the dating scene wasn't for me at all. I need to work on me first and foremost before I began that ever elusive search for that special someone; that final corner piece to the jigsaw puzzle known as my life so to speak.
The Epiphany
A friend of mine treated me to lunch not too long ago. He could tell that I was not in good spirits, so he used that opportunity to get me out of the apartment so he could lend a sympathetic ear over some good Chinese food (on a side note, if that "lady" working at King Chef ever yells at fellow workers in front of customers again, they may lose my business for a while... that happened yesterday). It was a good start to my weekend, despite me being down in the dumps.
The next day, I woke up late that afternoon and decided to basically have the day to myself. I went to Copper Coyote to see if their food was any good (it was). I also treated myself to some Dairy Queen and watched The Amazing Spiderman in the local theater with another friend of mine. I ended the night with a light meal and some Boone's Farm wine.
When last Thursday rolled around, I had realized that I was screwing up in terms of searching for somebody new. I was putting the cart before the horse so to speak. Before dating again, I need to enjoy my life as I see fit. There's some things I want to accomplish (like getting my website off the ground yet again). An image shared by a friend on Facebook helped me to come to this realization that I was doing it all wrong.
In essence, my previous post was my way of saying that there was a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. In other words, I learned something about myself; a lesson I'll hopefully never forget. If I do, there will be plenty of reminders.
Addressing Concerns
To the person who was concerned about me and whether I was being honest with myself or not, I thank you. To all of my friends, thank you for being there for me. I know many of us have new lives that prevent us from spending as much time with one another as we may want, but the fact that we can still reach each other is one of the coolest things of our time. We have various social networks online we can use to talk to each other and share things with.
While I do appreciate any concerns about my own mental/emotional wellbeing, I would like to assure you of one thing.
I'm fine.
With me, time is a great method of healing. I'm not talking about waiting things out per se. Talking about something over and over again can only do so much in terms of moving on with one's life. Sometimes doing something we enjoy can pass the time long enough that whatever has us frustrated leaves our system. Granted, other obstacles and challenges will undoubtedly head my way.
It's a bridge that I'll cross when I encounter it.
Clearing Up Misconceptions
First of all, I am an emotional person. Emotions and feelings are a big part of my life. So statements like, "We all have our bad days." or "That's everybody." aren't quite true. I've developed a thicker skin over the years, but there are days where things still get to me. Allow me to explain.
I am the type of person who has this never ending struggle with myself. Whether you want to blame it on a Zodiac-based superstition (I'm a Pisces by the way) or something else, it's something that's been a part of my life for a long time. There is this duality in me. Sometimes I'm in a very cheerful mood, and sometimes not so much. When I'm up, I'm up. When I'm down, hoo boy! Fortunately life experience has taught me and continues to teach me how to effectively channel my emotions into something useful.
After all, if I'm at work, I need to be working instead of bursting into tears in front of co-workers and customers. When I'm at home, I use the opportunity to recharge so to speak. Sometimes it involves leaving the apartment on a night out to myself or staying in and hibernating in my bedroom.
Quite a few things with me involves a delayed reaction. For example, if I get sick, I don't know it until I'm right in the middle of illness. For that reason, if I have to have a hardcore debate with myself on whether or not to call in to work, I decide to call in to work. There was a time when I thought, "I just didn't get enough sleep, so I'll just call in one time and get rested up." It turned out that I was under the weather and wouldn't have realized it were it not for my mom telling me how the color had come back in my face after not working two nights in a row.
Speaking of delayed reactions, if I'm sad I can't always talk it out or power right on through. It takes time for it to leave my system. I would know because I have tried in the past to talk it out and power on through only for my own emotions to catch up with me later. That's the way I am. I can make minor adjustments and tweak things to where it works a bit better and is more convenient. However, I have to deal with my own feelings as they come.
There's a reason they say that time heals all wounds. I'll add the caveat that not all things are healed in time, though time passing can be an effective treatment. It's not about waiting it out. It's about knowing when I'm ready to move on. Right now, I'm in a much better place mentally and emotionally. I'm still in a recharge phase, but when that's done (and I have a feeling that it's coming very close to being done), watch out! Good things are coming for me, because I'll be working for them.
Conclusion
I know some things written here may be taken the wrong way. I understand. The saying, "I'm responsible for what I say, not for what you understand." exists for a reason. No, it doesn't mean the other person is stupid. It means that we all interpret information differently. A friend of mine took a previous blog post the wrong way and showed some concern. I will appreciate that concern to the very end. However, I'll be fine. I've got things that I have to accomplish with a group of people who are fighting for the rights of people living in my county. I also have a contested primary to win in August. With that said, here we go! XD
