Moving

It's been too long since I lasted posted here.  It turns out that I now have complete control over my own online identity.  After acquiring four top level domain names, I figured it would be prudent to move my personal blog to here.

My Own Domain

It's been a while since I've posted.  The one thing I'm learning over and over again is that if you don't have anything to say, don't try saying anything.

The question at this point is where do I stand in life.

For starters, I'll soon own name online.  I've successfully acquired thomasholbrook.net, thomasholbrook.org, and thomasholbrook.info thus far.  The .com domain name is all that's left.

Speaking of domains, some improvements on the home front have occurred.

Bug Spraying

The building I live in was sprayed for bugs on Tuesday morning.  I couldn't go back until late afternoon.  I spent many hours moving things away from the walls.  Fortunately for me, that means an opportunity has arisen for some rearranging.

When my days off are here yet again, I shall start working on ways to make my room more nerdy.  Power Rangers, a painting, and other things shall be plastered onto the walls of my bedroom.

More Exercise

I successfully walked to work last night.  I managed to make it through work, walk home, and exercise with a 20 lbs dumb bell.  I'm now up to 12 reps.

When it comes to pushups off the wall, sometimes I can do a full 40, while at other times, I have to split them into two sets of 20.  This time, I was only able to 20 on one set, 16 on another, and five on the final set.

In addition to increased strength, I also have a surprise that will enable me to be more productive when I'm on my lunch break.  My mobile carrier now allows me to tether my phone to my computer at no additional charge.

The 2.5 GB of high speed data should last until the end of the billing period.

Where Do I Stand?

In blunt terms, not good enough.  As in I'm not good enough, nor will I be, nor should I be.

I received a reminder last night that I should never get cocky or complacent.  I have a long ways to go, and the only way that this journey of mine will come to an end is when I'm dead.

I've slacked off on a few things for far too long.  Beginning tonight, I shall keep reading the book I've been working on.  In addition to that, I shall read more of the KJV Bible.

I have a lot of catching up to do if I'm expecting to look at other spiritual texts.

Finally, I shall work on making myself a better person and molding myself instead of trying to mold others.  It seems many of us are guilty of the latter, yours truly included.

That is all for now.

Seasonal Transitions

The last vestiges of winter is coming and going.  The snow has mostly melted in Warrensburg, and as I figured would happen, no more appeared.  I haven't posted in the last couple of days, and there's a reason for that.

For the past four nights, I walked to work.  Each morning, I walked home.  My legs keep begging for mercy, but I'm not giving up.  Tonight, I'll be driving to work seeing as how I need to fill my car up in the morning.

I also need to do some laundry as well, but perhaps that can wait until after I've taken a nap when I get home Monday morning.

I'm also getting close to finishing George Orwell's 1984.  The next book on my list could very well be Brave New World.  Either way, I'll be doing something very special this Tuesday after finishing the book in question.

Speaking of Tuesday, I plan on writing an article on that day so that there's content coming from me each week.  If other contributors were to pick a day to post, that would be excellent.  Imagine if the site eventually had content every day from one person.

It would be the right kind of balance of having regular updates without overwhelming any site visitor with information overload.

New Addition to the Family

I saw a Toshiba notebook in Central Pawn.  It has a dual core Intel Pentium T3400 processor, 2 GB of RAM, a 100+ GB hard drive, and Intel GMA 4500 graphics.  I wanted another computer that was primarily powered by Intel technology for the purposes of testing other operating systems.

Here are some pictures of the computer in question.

I saved a couple of bucks due to the missing faceplate from the optical drive.

Plentiful screen size, no webcam, and no frills.  :)

The machine is currently openSUSE 12.3.  So far things have been pretty stable.  I was even able to use WiFi for the network-based install.

The only problem is that I had to do a manual fix to make sure I could connect to my network at home.  Thank goodness for release notes.

Well, I better cut it short so I can get something to eat, shower, and go to work.  I'll have the next two nights off, so things should get interesting.  Toodles for now.  :)

Weekend's Over Wednesday: It Begins.....

I woke up and noticed that the sun is already shining outside.  In the coming weeks, the sun light will become more prevalent as the season transitions to spring.  With that weather comes a new opportunity.

Losing even more weight by walking to and from work.

Let's face it.  The economy is still in an uncertain state, despite numerous assurances from the likes of Ben Bernanke and others.  That means finding the best ways to cut costs and taking care of your debts are going to be the key in getting into a better position in life.

Once a week, I'll use the car to do laundry, pay bills, shop for groceries, and more.  It will either be on a Monday or Tuesday.

I haven't decided on that one yet.

I'll also be doing a little bit of cleaning up once a week.  It will probably be on one of my nights off, and not the same one that I use the car on.

Since I bought a copy of 1984, I may as well bring it with me to read on my breaks as well as lunch.  I'm still making my way through the Book of Genesis.

The plan is to read 1984 during my breaks, and read a chapter out of Genesis during lunch.  The rest of my lunch period would be devoted to Orwell's book.  When I'm done with the KJV Bible, I'll look into another perspective.

When I'm finished with 1984, I'll choose another book to read.

At the beginning of the year, I started to prepare my body.  I also began preparing my spirit.  I understand that I must also prepare my mind as well.

The question, "For what?" has probably come to mind.

Last year, I began having a feeling that something interesting was on the horizon.  Whether it was good or bad, it wouldn't be boring to say the least.  That's when I knew that I would have to start preparing for whatever would be coming my way.

For better or for worse.

So in a sense, it begins.  The part where I prepare mind, body, and spirit simultaneously.  The part where I know that turning back is not an option.  The part where today is the first day of the rest of my life.

It begins now.

Getting it Done.

I did some more exercising today.  I even walked around the block twice and then to the end of Laurel Street and back.  Other than that, the day has been simple.

I went to anime club and had a good time.  The Vice President keeps going above and beyond in terms of providing handouts and other things related to cosplaying and conventions in general.

That stuff is helpful for those who haven't done those things before.

I also returned a desktop tower to a friend.  The bad news is that the motherboard's more than likely shot.  The good news is that I have added one piece of equipment to a troubleshooting kit that I'm putting together.

It consists of a PCI video card.

While we're at it, I might as well also point to this article that I published today.  The goal is to have one published every Tuesday.  So that's a podcast each Monday and an article (from me at least) every Tuesday.

Hopefully, I can have some help to where the website has something up each and every day.

The more content is published, the more traffic a site gets.  I also understand that publishing too much content every day can lead to other problems, such as Facebook, Google+, and other feeds being flooded with updates and announcements.  That's the cool part about liking a page on Facebook or following a group on Google+.

One can learn from mistakes as well as good things that were done right.

I have a major goal tomorrow evening, and it involves walking to work.  I want to do that on a regular basis so that I can get in better shape.  As an added bonus, I won't spend nearly as much money on gas.

Finally, the weather is changing for the better, and so is my life.  Looks like Bruce was right.  30 is a good age.

No Longer a 20 Something

It's been a few days since I last blogged, so I'll catch everyone up.  On Friday morning, my vacation began.  My sinuses were draining as they always do when he weather is changing from winter to spring, so I took some medicine to alleviate the symptoms before taking a nap.

I still managed to do my workout routine beforehand.

After my nap, I began doing some dishes while waiting for my dad to arrive.  When he arrived in Warrensburg, he gave me a call.  I gave him directions to my place on Laurel Street.

Little did I know that I was in for a treat.

The Gift

I got an arcade machine for my 30th birthday.  It has several classic games such as Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, Space Invaders, and more.  When my dad said he thought I'd like it, he was absolutely correct.

I adore the Hell out of the thing.

What's even cooler is the fact that I figured out which switch to hit on the inside of the machine to enable system setup.  I lowered the volume on it as games like Gun Smoke were extremely loud.

I'd rather not have the coolness factor dampened by a police visit due to a noise complaint.

Friday Night

Going with tradition, dad and I went to Heroes in Warrensburg to celebrate.  I took a break from my diet to celebrate my birthday, but I didn't get carried away.  After all, I didn't do dessert.

I simply did cheese fries with a cheeseburger and a few more fries.  My beverage of choice was water.

Saturday

It was a good day.  I had an Aztec Quesadilla burger, some fries, and some water at Country Kitchen.  It was my birthday, so that was eight dollars off.  My dad did the traditional skillet scramble.

While waiting for mom to arrive, we looked around Hastings, where I purchased a copy of 1984.  We also looked around at Central Pawn.  When mom arrived in Warrensburg, we hung around and chatted for a bit.

Then things got interesting.

Spring, my sister, made the decision to come to the 'burg, and we had lunch at Players.  Uncle Tim in Ohio gave me a call after I texted him so he would have my new number.  We talked for a while, he wished me a happy birthday, and I eventually ended the conversation so we could order our food.

I opted for the Mushroom Burger with fries.  As I did previously, I only drank water.

After all was said and done, we met back at the apartment, and we took turns on the arcade machine.  It was then that I had to discover how to change the volume on the sound.

Noise complaints at night on one's birthday... not my idea of fun.... so I flipped the appropriate switch on the circuit board, entered setup, went to the page on the volume control, and lowered the volume.

The good news is that saving high scores is now enabled, so my sister will have to come back and pollute all the high scores with her name.  ;)

Spring and Eric went home, and dad did as well.  The night wasn't over the top, but it was wonderful nonetheless.

Sunday

Dad called to let me know he made it home safely.  Later in the evening, Steve Kelley and I did our latest podcast.  The topic was quite riveting.  With that said, I do have a ways to go in order to improve as a host.  Steve's already doing his part by making new intros and outros and having a blast with it.

Light grocery shopping and putting the podcast online ended the night, which brings me to today....

Monday, Monday, Monday!

Today, may be 30, but it feels like I'm in my 20's at times.  I suppose it's all in the attitude, and in a sense, I am still quite young as I have so much to learn beyond college and the education that I went through going up.

It's time.

Those two words have such a significant meaning to me.  For the longest time, I was a soldier without a general.  Truth be told, the time has come for me to be my own leader in life.  Part of that journey will involve looking through the eyes of others.

That's the reason why I've been reading the Old Testament as of late.  That's the same reason why I'll go to other texts after finishing the New Testament.  Upon reading from the Wiccan perspective, I'll also consult a Buddhist perspective as well as other perspectives.

Some of these other perspectives include other editions of the Bible, such as the Geneva Bible, which came several decades before the King James Version.

I'm also working on the website some more as well.  In addition to the podcast, more articles are going to be written as well.

In terms of important life decisions, I'm also going to take the opportunity to walk to work.  That's why my alarm goes off at 7:30 PM each night that I have to get ready for work.  With gas prices going up, I figured it would be prudent to drive a little less.

Saving money is the added bonus compared to getting into better shape.

This Saturday, I will increase the amount of weight to 20 lbs.  The amount of repetitions will also be reduced for a while as I work my way back up.  I decided to stick with 50 for 10 lbs as I feel it's time to up the ante.

I'm also back on the usual diet as well.  I didn't stray very far from it, but I do need to stick to this new lifestyle as I know for a fact it's working.

The people around me are saying as much as keep getting comments on myself losing weight and looking trimmer.

I wish to continue that trend.

One More Night....

Work went surprisingly well, thanks to a coworker from days and evenings.  They helped with the cleaning and got one side of the store finished.  That helped us get things done a little bit faster so that one of us from the front end could be used for other things throughout the store.

Sometimes, things just work themselves out for the best.

At the end of the shift, I got to tidy up frozen.  I don't mind doing it, because it gives me a break from the front end as well as help pass the time more quickly.  Unfortunately, I was asked to do so an hour before having to clock out.

Two isles in an hour is not realistic.

I simply did as much as I could, and clocked out when it was time to do so.

Tonight's Game Plan

Well, seeing as how my dad's coming to visit, I'll be going to bed as soon as I'm finished writing this.  I want to get a couple of things accomplished before he arrives, so plenty of sleep is a must.

As soon as I get up, I'll have a nice, simple first meal (breakfast in the evening) followed by a shower and getting dressed.  As I've done in the past several days, I'll bring my Acer Aspire One 722 netbook with me.

I've been using Xiphos to read a chapter of the King James Version of the Bible during my lunch break.  Think of Xiphos as a free and open source alternative to E-Sword.  I thought I was making great progress on the Book of Genesis, but it turns out that I have a long way to go.

I forgot that there's a total of 50 chapters, so I'm not quite half way there as I thought I was.

During lunch, I'll read yet another chapter.  The idea is to make it through both the Old and New Testament first, then go on to other texts from other groups, but I'll elaborate on that another day.

When I get home from work, I'll have some tidying up to do in order to prepare for my dad's arrival.  He did say he would be bringing a truck to haul whatever he got for me up to Missouri.

I don't know what it is, but it's got my interest piqued.

Conclusion

I began doing this personal blog again, because I wanted to have an outlet for my life.  You, my readers, are not only my audience.  You're all my therapists in a way.  Even when there aren't any comments on an entry, there are page views, and for that, I thank you.

It's good to know that others are willing to hear me out.

With that said, think of it as a behind the scenes look to what I'm doing in life.  This website is one that I've built up, torn down, and rebuilt over and over again.  I went back to e107 due to familiarity and flexibility.

One of the recent things that I did was start a podcast directly on the website.  Steve Kelley and myself have explored a few topics just to start things out.  When our next episode hits the RSS feed, you'll begin to see what is meant by the portion of the tag line that says, "Overlooked Pop Culture."

A hint: The topic will involve something that is profound today, yet it's been overlooked for over 60 years.

While that marinades in your mind, I shall now go to bed.  Have a good day, everybody, and may the sun shine bright enough to melt all that snow away.  :)

Today's Agenda

I've been fairly busy as of late.  Work came and went yesterday, I did my simple exercise routine with the dumb bell, and I ate one of my meals.  I also gave my mom a call and talked to her for a while.

It was a riveting hour of conversation.

I had all sorts of things planned, but like always, my body let me know when rest was required.  I went to bed after five in the afternoon.

I'm glad that I did.

Now that I've woken up, I can continue some of my plans from yesterday into today.

More Maintenance

I'm wanting to do a big load of laundry so that I can have more clean clothes.  While doing that, I can do some more spiritual research (hopefully making it past the book of Genesis soon).  I'll also look around some pawn shops as well.

I'll clean up a little bit more around the apartment seeing as how my dear old dad plans on coming up this Friday.  From what he is implying, he is bringing something that takes up a significant amount of space.

This means I'll need to make sure there is plenty of room no matter what.

I should also have a video up later today.

As for the podcast, it's on hiatus for the week as more preparation is done for the topic in question.  It's one that should be very interesting, and one that fits the second half of the media venue's tagline, "...and Overlooked Pop Culture."

Have a great day everyone.

The Next Few Days

I'm keeping this short and to the point.  The next few days are going to be very important to me.  I have plenty that has to be done at the moment.  I have already finished one task and that's to ensure that I have clean pants for tonight, Wednesday night, and Thursday night.

Friday morning is when my vacation begins to celebrate my 30th birthday.

I'll try doing more laundry tomorrow morning in addition to some other maintenance related stuff at the apartment.  All of this preparation is for more than just my 30th birthday.

Turning 30 is quite a milestone, but there's something else that's going on here.  A phrase that started as a low hum in the deep crevices of my mind.  It's that very phrase that's began to get louder and louder as it moved to the forefront of my consciousness.

It's almost like I'm beginning to wake up from a long sleep of sorts.

Those two words are so important.  It signifies a moment in life that involves a change for the better.  Simply put....

It's time.

Bad Vibes On the Horizon.

Let's start off on a good note, shall we?  Since I mentioned food choices last time, I figured it would be appropriate by talking about mine.

Daily Asterisk: February 28, 2013 from Thomas Holbrook II on Vimeo.

I made it to work last night, and the shift started as it normally would.  I brought two bottles of water up to the front end like I always did.  Upon discovery that we had no trash bags for trash, I went to the back to grab some.

From there, things went as normal for a bit.  I took care of trash on one side of the front end as well as hangers.  At some point, the other front end person for the night was also taking care of trash and hangers.

It was when I got to the sweeping that things turned interesting in a hurry.

On May 22, 2012, I wrote an entry about memories and lessons.  In that post, I mentioned somebody who vicariously lives through other people.  I met them in 2010, and quickly discovered how they had this ability to draw people into their own madness.

There's a reason why it's called the cult of personality.

 In 2011, I severed ties with them and decided to move on with my life.  2012 was an amazing year.  I had a girlfriend for four months, ran for political office (and got over 10,000 votes), and had a good time with my room mate.

As it turned out, my instincts towards the end of the year was correct.

2012 wasn't the end, but the beginning of something interesting.  Have you ever had the feeling that something was coming, that it was on the horizon, and that it would be prudent to prepare for it?  If that moment last night at work was any indication, something interesting is on the horizon.

The very person who vicariously lives through other people made a brief appearance.

They were headed towards the door in their uniform.  We both looked at one another, I looked back at them, and they glared at me for a brief moment.  I felt jolted for a moment.

Suffice it to say they are no longer my biggest fan.

Truth be told, they can remain mad at me all they want.  An understanding has been reached.

I'm my own person and will no longer be manipulated or molded by them or anyone else.

With that in mind, I'll be getting some dinner and going to sleep.  May the rest of the day involve more and more melting snow.

More Weather on the Way.... Yay...

The forecast for tonight is snow, and more snow.  How exciting.  As of right now, I've been awake for nearly 24 hours.  Why do I do this to myself?

When my 48 hours of freedom, also known as a weekend, begins, I want to enjoy it as much as humanly possible.  All in all, today was a productive day, despite setbacks and frustration.

Hey, at least I have a full tank of gas in the car.

For starters, I gathered up my laundry for the week and took it to the laundry mat.  While my clothes were washing, I delivered a birthday card to my mom who lives about 13 miles to the south of me.

Upon returning to the laundry mat, I hurried and put the clothes in a dryer and set it at high heat for one hour.  I purchased some anime from Muttly's Gun and Pawn, then gathered up clothes.

I finished with a grocery shopping trip at the local Country Mart.  Some cube steaks, deli cheese slices, mushrooms, frozen peppers, Ballpark frozen burger patties, and some water were purchased.

If I'm getting snowed in, then I might as well have some good food, right?

I also had a discussion with a friend on Facebook.  How cool is that.  Oh, and there's another episode of The *Nixed Report podcast available.

All and all, the day was productive.  Hopefully, tomorrow will be fun.  We'll see what happens.  For now, I'll grab a snack and go to bed after that.

Holy Strain, Biceps!

I did it.  It hurt, but I succeeded.  The repetitions with the 10 lbs dumb bell has been increased to 45.  I have also modified how I do push ups off the wall.  I do a set of 16, wait about 20 seconds to cool down, and do another set of 16 for a total of 32 push ups off the wall.

A week from this Wednesday, I'll be at 50 reps with the dumb bell and two sets of 18 push ups off the wall.

We're apparently suffering winter's last gasp.  Last week, there was a good amount of snow.  This week, there appears to be more of the same.  The same goes for the week after that.

Of course this shit happens as I'm about to turn 30.

I'll just have to play my cards carefully and hope that the weather people are wrong in their forecast.  At the very least, temperatures should be in the 30's (degrees that is), so that may prevent the new snow from sticking as effectively.

In the mean time, I'll continue my focus on weight training throughout the weeks until the weather becomes consistent enough for me to walk outside on a regular basis.  The plan is to eventually save gas by walking to and from work.

Some More Good News

A friend commented last week that it looked like I was losing weight.  Another friend of mine told me that I was looking good as of late.  One of my coworkers told me that whatever I was doing, it was working.

That means I must continue the path I've been traveling.

Remaining true to myself and living life as I see fit along with molding myself into what I want to be has been the goal that I've been seeking all along.  Progress has been made, but there's still much that has to be done.

One step at a time.  One step at a time.

Weeekend's Over Wednesdays: Letting Go

Thanks to the mini vacation that I took, the batteries are now recharged.  Having only three days in a work week was also a good change of pace.  The ending of it was a bit stressful, but that's because of an unexpected rush we had.

My how corporate panicking can bring chaos.

The rush that day caused a bit of stress in and of itself.  It wasn't fully work related.  There's a personal issue at hand.

As I've noted before, I've been blocked on Facebook by a couple of a people.  When one of them comes to my place of work to shop, I try my best to not go near them when I'm not on a register.

After all, I'd rather not make things any more awkward than they already are.

I noticed that when I was on a register, that person would come to my line, notice I was behind the register, and choose a different register on the other side of the store.  So here's a heads up for people who may not care for me.

1. My nights off are Mondays and Tuesdays.  Most of the time, I try to avoid going to my own place of work to shop on those nights due to wanting a break from the place that I work at.  Those nights are ideal for you to shop, because I'm not there, so things hopefully won't be as awkward for you.
2. If you have a personal problem with me, you need to say something.  Who knows.  I might learn about something that I was doing wrong and not realize it before hand.  It could very well make me a better person and more considerate towards others.  In the adult world, I have to deal with people on a constant basis that I may not care for.  Guess what?  It doesn't matter, because I still have a job to do.

Needless to say, that behavior bothers me.  At least the other person who blocked me still comes through my line when they're purchasing merchandise on occasion.

Pruning the List

 I did something I don't normally don't do on Facebook.  I actually pruned my friend's list.  Most of it involved people that I didn't really communicate with or share much in common.  I normally prefer the other person unfriend me, but in this case, I felt it was necessary.

I'll probably do some more pruning in the coming days.  In the meantime, I did get another podcast up thanks to Steve Kelley.  He's an awesome co-host.  I also have work tonight, so I better get some sleep beforehand.  I wish you all a wonderful day, and I promise to blog more often.

Shall I Begin.... Walking?

I've been thinking as of late that it might be a good idea to walk to work.  I've been looking at the weather as of late, and figured that it might be consistent enough for me to be able to walk to work without dying.

Saving on gas would be an added bonus, thus allowing extra money to be diverted towards other things.

I made sure some bills were taken care of today and even paid extra on one of my credit accounts.  The goal is to have three of them taken care of this year.  I've got two more to go as I've already paid off one of them.

I also downloaded Steam for Linux.  I had to enable pre-release updates in Ubuntu 12.04 so I could get newer graphics drivers (AMD Catalyst).  The only game available without cost was Team Fortress 2.  It takes a bit to load, but once it's done, it runs well.

Hopefully more free to play games come out for it.

I also invested in some more broccoli florets as well as some asparagus.  I even splurged a little on some frozen fish that has zero carbs in it.  I might save those for Monday.

Tonight begins a three day work week for me, which is pretty exciting.  The mini vacation I took gave me a chance to recharge my batteries a little bit.  The cool thing is that I'll be having some more time off in March in order to celebrate my birthday.  I'm really excited.

I think my friend Bruce from campus was right.  When you turn 30, things really do start falling into place.  I haven't gotten to that age just yet, but things seem to be going smoothly as of late.

A Three Day Work Week.

I spent the day doing some laundry and taking care of a couple of bills.  I'll take care of some more in the morning.  I did some more window shopping and had some lunch at Nathan's Bar and Grill.

They were willing to accommodate my needs since I'm on a low carb diet at the moment.  I had some grilled chicken (sautéed mushrooms and cheese topped it) along with a side salad (sans croûtons and onions) and some steamed broccoli.

The food was excellent.

I then did some more window shopping before cruising around for a while.  It was mostly another day to myself, but there is some news on other fronts.

A couple of people I know had an official wedding ceremony today.  The couple in question is of the happy variety, so hopefully things will work out wonderfully.  I also made sure that my dad got his birthday card during a phone call I made this morning.

It looks like he'll be coming up.  It's a good thing I have some more time off this March.

May tomorrow be more eventful than it was today.

A Day to Myself

I slept for some time on a day that I normally end my nights off.  This week, I'm on a mini-vacation.  That means I'll have tomorrow night off as well.

For many reasons, I needed it.

Sometimes, 48 hours isn't enough free time to fully recharge the batteries so to speak.  I started taking the additional supplements.  I also took a bit of a walk with music blaring in my ears.

Getting out of the apartment was something I badly needed.

I briefly returned for some lunch and then drove to Central Pawn to look at the various products they had available.  The next stop was Hastings, where I purchased both parts of The Dark Knight Returns.

I then went to Country Kitchen to enjoy a dish of beef and eggs with a salad custom built from their salad bar.  Now I'm back at the apartment watching both parts of The Dark Knight Returns.  So far, I'm impressed.

Time to call it a night.  Take care, everybody.

Another Exercise Upgrade and More!

This morning, I switched over the 40 reps using the 10 lbs dumb bell.  My arms definitely felt it.  The 30 push ups off the wall had to be split 20/10 (20 the first set, 10 the second).  A week from this Friday, I increase everything by five.

I'll be over 50 reps with the dumb bell before the end of the month.

Yesterday, I posted an entry that entailed an important life decision.  I also did something else that I forgot to mention.  The website now has a podcast.  Episode zero was a test, and everything seemed to work out.

Wait until Episode One next Monday.  It's only going to get better from here.

Animation Expression Society

The campus organization has been doing well.  The last two weeks had informative sessions regarding cosplay.  This week, we went over wigs (hint: regular shampoo and conditioner are not a good idea), where they can be obtained, and how to alter and maintain them.

Another Health Investment

I invested in a couple of new products as of late.  Besides natural water pills, I'm going to be taking some Milk Thistle and a Fish/Flaxseed/Borage Oil combination.  I'll give them a try tomorrow to see what happens.

Speaking of which, I may go for an extended walk tomorrow.  Later everybody.

Closing the Door

This entry isn't like the other entries before it.  Though it contains language that some may not find favorable, it illustrates the situation in a manner that I view as appropriate.  Before I begin, I want to update everyone as to what's been going on in my life for the past few days or so.

The exercise routine has been progressing.  Tomorrow, I'll be up to 40 repetitions with the 10 lbs dumb bell and 30 push ups off the wall.  The slow climb continues.

I also did something that some may find quite shocking.  Instead of blowing most of my tax return on a material item, I used it to pay off an old credit card.  The goal is to pay off two more accounts this year.

Today, I plan on starting a podcast for the website I've been working on.  I'll have to buy some extra equipment, but it shouldn't be too expensive.

In short, we live in interesting times, and what's done now will determine what options are available later on in life.  I have my plans, and I want to see them come to fruitiion.

Last week, I ran into an old acquaintance on UCM's campus.  The gentleman in question is a kind soul who has been a student since the beginning of my college years.  I apparently had been very helpful to him just by being there and listening to him talk.

Sometimes that's all that's needed when one's going through a rough point in their life.

One of the interesting things he told me was how he wouldn't want to be 18 again.  The law doesn't like most people that age, for they tend to get in a lot trouble.  He also viewed the 20's as a waste of time and indicated that 30 is a good age to be.

According to him, at 30, things begin to fall into place.

For the past several weeks, certain things have been occurring to confirm a decision that I had already reached.  In some instances, it was a simple conversation.  In others, it involved memories of the past.  The information from all of it intertwined into a form of understanding.

They are revelations. Those moments of clarity in which things that weren't initially obvious. In other words, the obscure becomes mainstream in the mind.

I had an epiphany in the recent weeks.

It was that shining moment in which I realized that an early life event was the root of one of my biggest troubles. As they say, you won’t know where you’re going unless you know where you’ve been. Part of that knowing is understanding why.

After all, what use is an epiphany if it's not acted upon?

This week, there won't be a Weekend's Over Wednesday post, because I'll be off until Friday night.

I'm taking a mini vacation this month, because I didn’t want to deal with Valentine's Day or the bullshit that goes along with it. I sent my dad a birthday card as the 14th was his day of birth, and I'll call him on that day wishing him a happy birthday.

Other than that, I won't be celebrating a holiday that's been so commercialized, that single people are left out in the cold. I’m making a stand here and now. The line in the sand has been drawn.

Not only am I done with the so called "dating scene," I intend to stay single for as long as possible. If I can get away with it, it will be for the rest of my life.

The only relationships I intend to have are family connections, friendships, and professional associations with others.

For those thinking that it’s sour grapes, save it. There’s a method to my so called madness. In March, I'll have been alive for 30 years. In all of those years, I have had one actual relationship that lasted for four months.

More on that in a moment.

When I Was in College

The year was 2009. I was working in retail during the days and evenings while going to school. After suffering a broken arm in 2007, I was a lost soul. As a result of my accident, I decided to change my major not once, but twice.

I met many interesting people while attending UCM, and one of them was a girl named Laurel. She was the one person who, even by my standards, looked like a dork when I first met her in one of my classes. Over time I had gotten to know her, and she and I would often carry on conversations before and after class.

I was only a part time cashier and I was still driving that 1993 Jeep. As Valentine’s Day was approaching, I began to get annoyed. Everywhere I looked, there would be some lovey dovey couple being oh so affectionate towards one another.

It was almost as if they were shoving it in everyone else’s collective face.

It really bothered me. The closer to the day, the more irked I became. When I clocked out the evening of Friday the 13th, I called her and asked one question.

“Would you like some chocolate?”

I was invited to see the newly released Friday the 13th in the theater with her friends. I accepted, and before the film started, I decided to have something to eat at Country Kitchen. I wasn’t about to watch a movie without having dinner.

Some may not have liked the newest Jason flick, but I enjoyed it.

The gift of chocolate was accepted, and I was promptly told that Warrensburg was going to issue a citation on my vehicle (it was a landfill on the inside). We said our goodbyes and I went back to my shithole of an apartment in Valley View.

Little did I know that things were about to get worse.

Fast forward to March 9th of that year. My day at work started off well enough. My mom visited me during one of my 15 minute breaks to give me a card. Shortly after that, things started going down the drain.

I still managed to treat myself to Country Kitchen during my lunch. It still wasn’t enough to stop the wave of negative emotions flowing through me. Towards the end of my shift, I was in tears.

I realized that in four years, I would be turning 30 years old, and that I was currently all alone. Up to that point, I had no relationship experience.

It was the most miserable birthday ever.

Fast forward to 2010 after still going through the issue of being lonely and desperate. I initially try to get myself out of this funk by being more physically active and eating better. Unfortunately, I was still in a dark and vulnerable position.

I then run into a group of people led by one who vicariously lived through other people.

The newfound friendship seemed amazing at first. My subconscious desperately tried to tell me that something wasn’t right with the person in question, yet I didn’t listen. He was younger than I was, yet he lectured me on how to live my life.

In the Spring semester of 2011, he mentions that I should meet somebody. He indicated that she was like me... “...lonely and desperate.” I would meet this person after the summer ended.

It turned out that as nice as she was, she was not very stable.

The once joyous connection I initially had disappeared in the middle of the semester. Still, I had bigger issues.  One of them involve one younger than me trying to mold me and define me.

In 2011, I finally made my decision to begin severing ties to this person. Trying to act as a father in his early twenties to somebody who was approaching 30 was insulting. It’s even more damaging when they say that you’re not the best writer out there, despite the fact that they’re talking to somebody who had received a creative writing award in elementary school, had a poem published as a young author, and was published on linux.com (before it was purchased by the Linux Foundation) and Muktware.

I don’t like being defined by others, let alone controlled.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was yet to come. I was resigned to the fact that I would be staying in Valley View that summer until I smelled something horrible as I went through the front door. No matter the cause, it was the catalyst to finding a new place to live.

For some reason, I found the place I wanted to live in and succeeded in getting it on the first attempt. The irony of it all is that the street’s name is Laurel.

This incredible miracle was followed up by the fact that I had help from my friends and family. A dear friend of mine even got an entertainment center out of the whole deal. Then came that moment where I decided that I’d had enough of the person in question.

I was on the verge of moving some of my belongings from my old place in Valley View to the new place on Laurel Street when he called.

He pitched a project idea to me about a book. It entailed a few guys sitting at a bar talking about the shit that women in their lives put them through. He even told me that I could include things about the same girl he introduced me to.

He also wanted to “inspect” the new living quarters.

OH!  HELL!  NO!

I text him the next morning declining participation in his project and also informing him that I needed a chance to settle into the new place first. With some help, I also came to realize that I allowed myself to be somebody else’s pawn.

Thankfully, I’ve been able to repair a couple of broken bridges. That’s the price of allowing myself to be manipulated by another.

The individual who lived through other people is no longer in my life. On Facebook, he is now blocked as is his core group of friends. It’s one thing to block people, but it’s another matter when you discover you’ve been blocked.

When I discovered this, I looked deep inside myself and came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter. When a person blocks another on Facebook or uses a similar feature on another website, they are saying that they do not wish to associate with another individual that they may deem problematic.

Believe it or not, I’m fine with that.

After all, it too acted as a catalyst for another decision that’s already been made. The closing of the proverbial door as indicated earlier. Before writing this, I only told a few people of this decision. There were some dissenting voices; one of them argued that I would only be hurting myself by following through.

I disagree, and I'm going to tell you why.

The Epiphany

Looking back on my entire life so far, I can finally understand why I felt the way I did when I turned 26. Subtract 20 from that age, and a crucial moment of my early years is revealed.

I almost died. Twice.

My digestive system clogged up. I got to know first hand what a backed up toilet felt like. I was literally drowning on the inside.

Fortunately for me, Children’s Mercy Hospital is the reason I’m still alive today. When I was admitted, so was my mom. She was there for me for the entire first duration when they inserted a tube through my nose and down my throat to drain my system of the junk that had been trapped inside.

She was also there when a tube was installed in my chest to aid in the draining of additional fluid. She was the one who took me back to the hospital when the tube itself became infected.

When that tube had to be removed, there was no time to put me under.

I apparently yelled every expletive in the book. Hours later, one of the nurses wanted to know if I was still mad at her. I almost lost my life twice, and mom was there to see to it that I survived.

The misery of my 26th birthday turned out to be a reflection of a portion of my childhood.

I realized at that point that I would be 30 soon enough. Even with mom’s resilience, there will be a day in which she is no longer on this planet. Whenever I had an issue with something, I would be able to talk to her.

The reality is that she won't be there forever.

This isn’t to say that my relationship with dad isn’t worthwhile. He too has been somebody I could turn to when I needed somebody to talk to and he's also helped out with some other major things in my life. Though he wasn’t always able to make it to the hospital when I was sick, I can't blame him.

He had a job to do and bills of his own that had to be paid. He visited whenever he could.

The simple fact of the matter is that I’ve been more connected to mom due to the fact that I’ve lived with her most of my entire life. She was the one that was near my hospital bed. It is what it is.

When the time comes for her passing, the impact will be tremendous. When the same occurs to dad, I will be devastated. Even when divorced, they still saw to it in their own way that my sister and I would do the right thing whenever possible.

Other than my sister, who will probably be further away from me sometime in the future (she’s married and has a life she’s quite fond of), there is no one else except friends.  When both parents are gone, that leaves nobody else, except perhaps friends.

That's what made me break down on my 26th birthday.  Now that I recognize that, I also understand something else.  I'm now doing better than I have been in a long time.

Not only am I actually taking better care of myself, I'm also getting that spark of inspiration back.  The problem with having a significant other in my life at the moment is that I'll become way too complacent. 

That isn’t to say I don’t know what it’s like.

The Relationship

I had a girlfriend in 2012. That relationship lasted four months and ended the moment I realized that she really, really wants to have kids, and I really, really don’t. She’s now dating somebody who is a much better match than I ever could have been.

When I cringed at a little kid crying at a high school reunion, she told me, “You better get used to it, ‘cuz if we’re together long enough and we get married, we’re having kids!” I felt myself shut down on the inside.

I don’t like being controlled by others, even if the other person means well.

I also couldn't deny the dream that she had since she was a child.  She wants a family of her own.  I wasn't the right person for her, especially since I became complacent.

After the relationship was under way, I stopped exercising.  Other ambitions of mine were going out the window.  Now I understand the whole point of WWE Superstar CM Punk saying to his group, The Straight Edge Society, that they should never be satisfied.

Beyond being a promo for a pro wrestling faction, the overall lesson to be learned is that when one is satisfied, they stop improving themselves and getting better.  Complacency has a price that is too steep for me at the moment.

Closing one Door, Opening Another

One of the defining moments of my early childhood was death. In a sense, one isn’t truly living if they don’t follow their dreams. I’m guessing that’s part of the reason mom told me to never settle.

I asked myself a difficult question a long time ago. It was initially a tough call, but sometimes the best ones aren’t simple. I basically asked myself, assuming that I couldn’t have both, if I wanted someone in my life or if I wanted to leave my mark on the world.

I’m choosing the latter.

For those arguing that I’m hurting myself by closing that door and barricading it, I’ll let you in on a secret. Whenever I attempted, no matter how intense or how meager, to pursue anybody, the one I would wind up hurting the most would be myself.

I disrespected the young college student’s decision to finish school before dating. Fortunately, they still talk to me on occasion. I’ve also made others uncomfortable when I never intended to do so.

Truth be told, I wasn’t really looking for a soulmate. I was looking for somebody who I could go to with my problems and have nothing but comfort when the chips were down; somebody who could be there just like my mom was.

That wasn’t right at all.

As selfish as it sounds, the only way that someone will be let in is if they do the following:

1. They rip away the barricades and break down the damn door.
2. They have something of substance between their ears.
3. Whatever I do in life, they’re going to have to come along for the ride.

It’s selfish. I acknowledge it and refuse to apologize for it. I’ve had the feeling for a long time that my life’s been on pause. It’s been all about work and going home, work and going home, work and going home.

I’ve only now started to interact with more people on a regular basis again. I’ve changed my eating habits and have been exercising more. I’m trying to transform myself into something better.

This time, it’s for all the right reasons as opposed to simply distracting myself from what I couldn’t have before.

When I was in a relationship, I became complacent.  I stopped working on projects that I wanted to do. The life lessons in question have made me stronger, and might I add, a bit wiser.

My 30th birthday will be a joyous occasion, because by then, I’ll be even more financially sound than before. By then, I’ll be on my way to paying off two credit cards.  If I can keep up this pace, I'll be able to take care of those three accounts.

Who knows.  I might be able to do more than that.

I have a plan for my life now.  I'm closing this door, for that ends one chapter of my life.  The new chapter begins now as I open another door and begin walking through it.

Weekend's Over Wednesday: Mental Marination

Here's another picture of food to wet your appetite so to speak.

In Kissing Jessica Stein, one of the many great quotes from Jessica's girlfriend, Helen, was as follows:

"Don't decide right now, just let it marinate for a while."

 There's been quite a bit on my mind as of late, but before I get to that, I'd like to share what's been happening thus far this week.

Monday

I visited my friends Steve and Seffy on Monday.  Unfortunately, it was very cold outside (of course it warms up the next day too), so even I had a hard time not shivering at 18 degree weather.  I can take the cold, but I have my limits.

One of my new favorite places to eat now is the local Burger King in Warrensburg.  They have options on the menu that accommodate those who are on a low carb diet.  I had three double cheeseburgers without any condiments or a bun along with a side salad without dressing or grape tomatoes.

After hanging out with my friends, I had to go home, because I was having trouble falling asleep that Monday.  For whatever reason, I tend to want to stay awake when I'm off work for the next couple of nights.

Tuesday

I took my work clothes to the Washboard Laundry Mat so I could have clean clothes for the week.  While clothes were washing, I did some shopping and filled up my gas tank.  I returned, put clothes in the dryer, and then went to Muttly's Gun and Pawn to look around.

Pro tip: If you're looking for a cheap place to stock up on anime, a local pawn shop should be on your list of stops to make.

Last night, I checked in on the anime club.  There were some friends that I haven't seen in a while and I wanted to check in on them to see how they were doing.  We had a wonderful time and it was good meeting one of the new officers.

Nate's a pretty cool guy and I think he will make an excellent treasurer.

The cool thing is that the group has been communicating with other anime clubs as well.  This is something that I wanted to see happen, but things happened when I was still in college that prevented that endeavor from being successful.  The organization is in excellent hands.

After the club meeting and hanging out in general, I did a little bit more shopping in the early hours of this morning before going home and falling asleep.

That brings me to this morning.

I have successfully upped my repetitions by two.  That's 33 with the dumbbell and 23 push ups off the wall.  A week from this Saturday, I shall increase everything by three.  The pattern will continue until I can do 100 reps with the dumbbell.

The weight will increase and I'll work my way up to 50 with the higher weight before increasing the weight one more time.  The goal is eventually use all three weights in the entire routine.

From there, I'll eventually increase the number of sets by one for even more muscle building.  Speaking of transitions....

Mental Marination

Like my exercise routine, I'm treading carefully in terms of getting something off my chest.  I won't go into it today, because it's prudent to actually brainstorm the ideas that are floating in my mind and organize them into something coherent.

I'll still work on the website.  After all, I have yet to write the first article (hint: it will mention Piers Morgan).  I'll even do a test podcast.  I have the know how to record and edit audio.  I just need to do the rest, and that plugin for e107 just might do the trick.

In other words, I'll be taking a brief break from personal blogging until sometime in February.  When I return, I'll have something important to say.

• Some may like it.
• Others may not.
• Others may honestly not care.

That's the nature of the Internet.

There's some things that I discovered about myself that explain some things that have happened to me over the last couple of years.  It was quite an epiphany that will be channeled to make myself better than I was before.

Those who are curious will get one hint.  In life it is important to have that great adventure which the individual explores the self as well as their surroundings before everything else occurs.

Allow that to marinate in your mind for a while, and I'll see all of you in February.

Mission Complete!

Yesterday, I said I was excited about the opportunity to get ahead on a few things.  I suppose I have done just that.  The only thing left to do for the time being is to get my oil changed (might do that in the morning) and the gas tank filled up.

The good news is that I'll still have money left over, a good feeling to have.  Things seem to be going right so far in 2013.

There's been a slight change in technological terms at the living quarters.  I recently went to my ISP's new pricing.  Granted, I have to use their modem from here on out, but there's no rental fee anymore.  An added bonus is that it's a DOCSIS 3, which should improve performance.

The utilities are taken care of, and I managed to stock up on a few more food items (low carb of course).  Speaking of food, I've somewhat changed my strategy a bit.  I'll eat the veggies that are low carb as part of the last meal of the day.  That way, I don't have to worry about refrigeration as soon as I get to work.

Thank goodness for canned meat is all I have to say.

Speaking of healthy living, I got a bit of extra exercise today as I moved some carts out of the parking lot towards the end of my shift.  I still took to the dumb bell and off the wall pushups when I arrived home.  Next Wednesday, I'll add two repetitions to what I'm already doing.

According to my calculations, by keeping up with the pattern for increasing reps, I'll be doing 50 of them with the dumb bell by March.

Once I hit 100 reps with the dumb bell, I plan on increasing the weight to 20 lbs.  At the higher weight, I'll start with 15 reps and work my way up to 50 using the same pattern described in previous posts.  The fun part will be when I increase the weight to 30 lbs.

At the highest weight I'd be willing to work with, the starting point would be five reps.  Working my way up to 25 would be what I refer to as quite a challenge.  If I can meet it, then another crucial step would be taken.

It would involve using all three weights in a sort of pyramid fashion.  I would start with 10 lbs at 100 reps, go to 20 lbs at 50 reps, then to 30 at 25, back to 20 at 50, and finish off with 10 at 100.

I'm guessing that won't happen until at least the end of this year.  More likely, 2014 would be the target time period.  Either way, I'm working my way towards improving myself on the physical level.

However, I also recognize that physical appearances never tell the entire story.

Tanya Slade wrote an article for my website about an individual named David Elmore Smith.  With help, he lost an extraordinary amount of weight.  The problem was that he put it back on due to internal issues as well as external issues.  Thankfully, he's trying to get back to the good point in which he was at.

In addition to taking care of himself physically, he's also sought psychiatric help as well.  Those interested in following this individual might want to check out his YouTube Channel.

I'm getting to know myself better during the whole process.  One of the things I'm going to reveal at the moment is a very important key to understanding who I am as an individual.

I may take my time when it comes to many things in life.  When I'm fed up enough with a particular situation, I'll do everything in my power to change it.  That's why I was able to find my current living quarters on the first try.

I was tired of living in a dump.

There will be more revelations as time goes on, especially regarding a couple of mini vacations that I'll be taking (one in February, and one in March).  I'll have something very important that I want to discuss when I arrive at my first one.

In the meantime, the dishwasher is in drying mode, so I better go turn the water off (it connects to a faucet).  After that, I'll definitely need to go to bed.  Have an awesome day, everyone.  :)